Can I do anything dangerous?

I’m going to be doing a parachute jump!

There are fewer phrases I am likely to say than this, with possibly the exception to “I’m going to space”. I’ve been banned from doing cool, I mean stupidly dangerous, stuff in my life because death.

There is every chance that if I do something life limiting or threatening than my major concern will not be broken bones but the disapproval of my family. I have a ban on anything that involves falling.

So to try anything extraordinary I need to be surrounded by strangers.

The scariest moments come when I need to perform, whether it be in a amateur dramatical production or when I am being interviewed. I need the freedom of unfamiliarity to be able to be the person I need to be.

It is when I am alone I can be unafraid of the reactions of those who will see me tomorrow. With strangers, I am free to act and behave as I want with no thought about dealing with the repercussions. I’m not looking for the support I’m trying to avoid the sympathy.

This may seem a bit mean, I do truly love it when I am able to do things with my family. I just don’t want them to be worried, surely it is better to not tell them about the things that would scare them?

Yet, I can’t be that person, what is the point of doing the scary and stressful alone? If it was a moment of derring-do then who do can I share my memory with. If it was a performance then who do I have to boost my ego? Family can be honest (if you can take it) – friends and strangers have a habit of giving you the review they think you want to hear, partly the reason some AmDram thesps lose themselves in their glory.

The stranger gives me the freedom to be whoever I want to be, but family gives me the confidence to be that person.