Playing by myself

I’m not a good loser, it is why I don’t play multiplayer games all that often and don’t own a Scrabble board. The thought of not winning can make me a bit crabby and not a fun person to play with. I completely understand the greed of the financial system as I like to be the bank in Monopoly and take commission every time some one passes go, plus a finders fee for every land sale.

So as well as being a bad loser I’m obviously not a great winner either. If the aim of a game is to emerge victorious then what honour is there in coming second. Of course there is more honour in coming second honestly than first by cheating, the key is to not get caught. Nobody remembers who came second anyway, but they always remembers those who won and were disgraced.

I don’t play luck games, anything with dice or a chance selection of cards, as you may as well randomly select a winner and not have to deal with the hours of pretending that lady luck is with you and you have somehow managed to control the randomness of the universe to create a hot streak. There is some element of skill in a game of poker but you are playing against nothing more than a 1 in 52 chance of getting a good card next.

The closest I will come to a traditional multiplayer experience are the Buzz trivia games. At least I can use my skill and knowledge to win honourably, if I do win. Because I am good at trivia games I tend to stick my neck above the competition, and the Buzz games all seem to have a Weakest Link style finale where all the other players get to pick on whoever they want. Inevitably this means me, so I get angry when I lose and gloaty when I manage to stave off the assault.

I’m at my best when I can play on a team, whether it is a game of Fifa or by playing co-operative games (the Lego games are a godsend here). I get a sense of accomplishment when I can help someone else achieve on these games, I would much rather be the architect of a goal than the scorer.

In the end the perfect game is just me, playing by myself. No one to beat but my own ego, and the game in front of me. I can play by whatever rule set I wish and the victory is mine and not the crushing of others.