Late Review : Snow White

In which Snow White is really just the evil step-daughter.

Poor, innocent Snow White. The fairest (source: magic mirror) of all princesses yet cruelly hounded until saved by her prince. How could I have issues with her? Quite easily it seems, because the fairy tale shows ‘princesses’ are naive and stupid, jealous and cruel.

Oh, she looks cute but there is a cold heart under that dress
Before the main event it’s probably best to tackle the villain of the piece “The Wicked Queen”. The Wicked Queen is a representation of the princess’ greatest fears, that there is someone in some physical way better than you (aka fairness). A constant need of reassurance not from another person, but from a mirror.

Wicked step mother in Snow white looking in the magic mirror

“Yes, you are pretty and oh so fair” cries back a reflective piece of glass. The reflection you see is just their own self-image patting them on the back saying “well done you, you hit the genetic jackpot and came out with good looks”. And this goes on until that one day they feel that little niggle in the back of the mind that perhaps suggests there is someone ‘better’.

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The Angry Dwarf

In which I tell you a tale of a dwarf who got hurt but then got better.

Here is a tale from the archives, in fact The Angry Dwarf was one of the first stories on my old site…I must add I am not feeling like this anymore, the scars have healed. So with words and pictures by Me, may I present:

The Angry Dwarf

PIC-Angry Dwarf

Far away in the land of make believe there lived a dwarf, not one of the mean and nasty variety but one of the nice ones that you would take home to see your mum.

He had only one weakness.

Princesses. Continue reading “The Angry Dwarf”

The Tale of Nice the Giant

In which I tell you an angry fairytale.

I had a reminder yesterday congratulating me on my five year anniversary of Geek Ergo Sum, and as per usual it reminds me that this was not my first attempt at blogging. That distinction belongs to Angry Fairytales. Although that site no longer exists I still have the old posts.

It was written at a time where the idea I would be happily married with one child and another on the way seemed like lunacy. So as the name suggests the posts were quite…bitter. Now I look back on them and it makes me laugh. So I thought to celebrate five years of shiny I would retell the story of Nice the Giant (and for the first time illustrated by my own fair hand!)

The Tale of Nice.

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Definition of a prince

In which I argue that princesses are a bunch of flangiprop.

Fairy tale Princesses are bad enough (looking at you Snow White) but their male counterparts are just as terrible.

Tall, dark,  Handsome? What is needed is a word to sum this all up, I propose that word to be ‘flangiprop’.

These are the real reason that princesses fall in ‘love’. It’s not like Snow White, Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty had long conversations before they decided Prince Cute-but-Stupid demonstrated his GSOH that princesses apparently “look for”.

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The Angry Dwarf: Happy Ending

In which the Angry Dwarf gets a happy ending.

I’m not sure I believe in the idea of a soulmate, but there are certainly people who can change the way you feel. Before Mrs G I was a little bitter towards the idea of ‘love’, so much so that I wrote my Magnus Optimus Prime:

“The Angry Dwarf”.

The Angry Dwarf was written at a time when I was feeling pretty bitter about everything. Events over the last few years have completely changed that mindset around and my thoughts no longer really match the ending. I still like the original ending, but have been asked to rewrite it to make it happier. As the person asked so nicely, and I am unable to say no to a pretty face, here is the shiny unicorns and rainbows ending.
Continue reading “The Angry Dwarf: Happy Ending”