Cats are fickle and stubborn

In which I attempt to understand what a cat really feels other than contempt.

There is a great video from the UK Cat Protection league on stroking your pet’s belly. Apparently they don’t like it up ’em.

The result is that even if your (apologies for the upcoming sentence, I am British so have a in depth education in entendre) pussy looks like it needs a stoke you should try to resist the urge to give it a little tickle lest something untoward happen.

The reality is that unless the cat is explicitly asking you for something then they don’t want you to do anything. Unless of course it’s the opposite, because cat’s are the most contrary animals in existence.

The danger of this video being released on YouTube is that all the cats on the internet will now want to have their tummies tickled because it’s the opposite of what you will now think. Cat’s are waging a long psychological battle against their human minions which isn’t about supremacy but the complete breakdown of human logic.
Continue reading “Cats are fickle and stubborn”

I write because…

In which I’m not sure why I type a few hundred words a day.

When I started this blog, and the one that came before it, it was because I was looking for inspiration, although I still don’t know what I want to be inspired to do. Initially I started writing these posts for two main reasons:

  • To vent some of the pressure and anger I was feeling,
  • Something to do

My previous attempt to start a blog seemed to sway more to 1 than 2 and became more of a chore than enjoyment, and I don’t enjoy chores (seriously – I need to really do some vacuuming at home). Most of us will only have 36 million minutes on this planet so even to waste 60 of them each night not having fun seems a bit of a waste. It also seems to be a bit foolish to spend my time ranting to the environs of the internet rather than actually trying to resolve the problems in reality.

Yet, I still want to do this.

Continue reading “I write because…”

Abandoning your friends

In which I appear to have muted rather than unfriended.

My closest friend is myself. I have few friends. Before you go all “oh that’s so sad/funny” let me add a caveat. I know a lot of people, and have known a lot of people. It’s just that I don’t class many of them as friends. Acquaintances, colleagues, contacts, companions, yes. There is nothing wrong with being one of them. What makes a friend though? What has to happen to push through simply knowing someone to it being a friendship?

A real friendship is one where you are completely honest and truthful. You have complete trust in the other person. You would do anything for them without expecting any reward or praise in return. Cicero thought that as well, and he was one of the greatest philosophers. A friend knows when things are wrong, and knows when and how to ask what it is. A friend doesn’t just say “what’s up?”
Continue reading “Abandoning your friends”

Hoarding memories and mementos

In which I store my memories on the bonfire of time.

Hoarders is a programme where people who have a mental illness are paraded in front of a TV audience for us to point at like they are a Victorian freak show. The participants have normally experienced a traumatic event in their life that makes them feel unable to let go of any item that they possess. Being afraid to lose anything about their history they keep and store every memory in physical form.

I suffer from the alternate version of this, I have little sentimentality for past possessions and as a result tend to through away stuff before I should. I don’t have piles of cards or items I’ve collected from holiday. The memories of my past times are in my head, which is a worrying prospect as my recollection of my youth is terrible.

It would be easy to feel sad about this, but I am someone who does not like to live and dwell in the past. I’ve been there and it was pretty good, mostly, but I am way more excited by the future and I can’t be tripping over my memories while trying to do that.

Continue reading “Hoarding memories and mementos”

Being careful what I write

In which names are changed to protect the guilty.

The most difficult part of writing on this blog is not knowing who is going to read it. I know of a few people who do so let me say hello to:

  • My wife
  • My Mum
  • My Wife’s Mum

I don’t know if they read that but a hello anyways. In total I have 173 people I actually know who may read this and one thing I am very careful to do is not say anything that might mean that number decreases. Being quite ranty this makes it very hard.

In the beginning I didn’t really care, there were a lot of complaints about princesses. I would get angry about how I was treated by members of the fairer sex and translate that into some pretty angry blog posts.

Continue reading “Being careful what I write”

I am a night owl

In which I want to stay up late.

Of all the arguments I have with Mrs G (which are not that many) the topic of complaint that crops up most often is going to bed. We have similar tastes in food and TV, we have a set of ethics and morals that are well aligned, we like doing the same things. Get us in the bedroom though late at night and it becomes a battlezone.

The main issue is that my wanting to turn the lights off pre-11pm means that I’m not a night owl like my wife. This is patently nonsense, I’m as much a night owl as the next red-eyed fellow, as my issue with going to sleep is not related to my personal preference for a bedtime but to pure biology.

My morning alarm call is dictated by what time we need to go to work, for us this means leaving the house at 7am, so there is the whole morning routine to complete. I have tried to make it as efficient as possible by preparing the morning coffee the night before, having lunches ready and not caring what I wear and just grabbing anything from the wardrobe. To give myself that little more time I even skip breakfast until I am at my desk so I can have a few more minutes.

It still doesn’t seem enough.

I have managed to get the process down to 35 minutes, and that is both for me and The Feliciraptor to be ready (heaven knows what it will be like if we through another child in the mix). Still I don’t feel like I sleep long enough and all I’m longing for are seven hours. Continue reading “I am a night owl”

I just can’t choose

In which I’d love to share some other great blogs.

I talked before about how I hate to choose favourites, it makes me uncomfortable to pick out people (even if I think they deserve it). I’m nearly at the end of the Writing 101 course and with one day to go I should really showcase some of the excellent writing that has been done.

The only problem I have is who, and what, to choose from the hundreds of posts made during the last few weeks. So as per the norm I am just going to pick some of the posts completely at random and see where we go. from there.

Continue reading “I just can’t choose”

Travelogue : Cruising around the Med

In which I’m on a boat.

I like cruising around the Med

A poem by Geek Ergo Sum aged 35 and 3/20ths – written in semi rhyming free prose (and done on the train so no guarantees on the quality) and inspired by both a map of the Mediterranean and two weeks spen on a boat

PIC-Map of the Mediterranean

I like cruising around the Med,

I can do it from my bed,

You get to go on a great big ship,

The waves go up and then they dip.

Continue reading “Travelogue : Cruising around the Med”

Short on content not ideas

In which I write a list of ideas that I will never get around to.

I may procrastinate over writing, but one part of blogging I am quite good at is making notes and drafts. Anytime I have a good idea for a three hundred word missive I jot it down, and for the majority of the time when I have a terrible idea I also make a note.

There was a point when I thought I would be all creative and write in a Moleskine notebook, but that fell by the wayside. I would spend so long looking for a pen and piece of paper that I had forgotten by the time I came to scrawl it down.

So going through my ideas and drafts I have the following list of post ideas:

Continue reading “Short on content not ideas”

I said hey, what’s going on

In which I use data to not prove very much.

Suggesting I look at my blog stats feels a little too much like work. As in real work, because my real job is as a Digital Analyst. I sit looking at pageviews and transaction funnels all day so when it comes to my own site I am quite unconcerned by it’s numbers.

My most visited post is (unknown or deleted), I have no recollection of what it was called or what it was about. I blame the post pruning I did at the Red Posting where I deleted 400-odd posts. Don’t worry they will be back, I’m just editing them and reposting them to a new audience.

This got me looking at the other popular posts on the site, could they give me any special input into what drives visitors to read some of my rants? Is there a trend that suggests I should write more about my lunch or focus on lists? What do my top posts tell me about this site and those who take the time to read it?

Continue reading “I said hey, what’s going on”