I’ve finished updating

In which I can draw a line under my blog’s “To Do” list

There are times when I start a project and I think it is not going to take that long to do. I will make a start and then it starts to drag and drag and eventually it becomes a chore I never seem to complete. I have to force myself to complete it.

Generally this applies to housework and any DIY, but today I have completed the mammoth task I began at the beginning of the year. I have finally completed the overhaul and update of my site.

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Deciding on how my blog looks

In which I CSS the hell of my site-header.

If a blog should be in a constant state of change to grow and survive then mine is like Japanese Knotweed. Since I first started all those years ago on Blogger there are two constants.

  1. I will delete a mass of posts on a whim.
  2. I will endlessly messing with how my site looks.

Being an eternal tinkerer means the temptation to switch the the latest and shiniest theme is great. The one problem is that means I spend more time on how the site looks than what it contains.

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Don’t have feelings

In which I’d like to build a snowman.

When I started this blog, and the ones that came before it, it was because I was looking for inspiration, although I still don’t know what I want to be inspired to do. Initially I started writing these posts for two main reasons:

  • To vent some of the pressure and anger I was feeling
  • Something to do

It was a way to illuminate the darkness I was feeling and remove the mask of madness. Over time those feelings have waxed and waned between fun and something that became more of a chore than enjoyment, and I don’t enjoy chores (seriously – I need to really do some vacuuming at home). Most of us will only have 36 million minutes on this planet so even to waste 60 of them each night not having fun seems a bit of a waste. It also seems to be a bit foolish to spend my time ranting to the environs of the internet rather than actually trying to resolve the problems in reality.

It is when this new moon feeling hits that I often have little madness to hide.

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A writing crisis

In which I have the inevitable crisis of blogging.

Life is getting simple again, ensuring a period where chaos turns to order and life becomes serene. Thankfully three weeks today life is due to get an upheaval so that will preoccupy most of my desire to see the boat rocked.

I’m also a good way through the process of tidying up this site. My list of jobs includes retagging all my posts and ensuring that they all have nice pictures and introductions. Once that’s done I’ll have plenty more time to write. That is where the inevitable crisis of what kind of posts I want to write will strike. Once again the threat of a blogplosion will rear is mildly unappetising head.

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Being careful what I write

In which names are changed to protect the guilty.

The most difficult part of writing on this blog is not knowing who is going to read it. I know of a few people who do so let me say hello to:

  • My wife
  • My Mum
  • My Wife’s Mum

I don’t know if they read that but a hello anyways. In total I have 173 people I actually know who may read this and one thing I am very careful to do is not say anything that might mean that number decreases. Being quite ranty this makes it very hard.

In the beginning I didn’t really care, there were a lot of complaints about princesses. I would get angry about how I was treated by members of the fairer sex and translate that into some pretty angry blog posts.

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Creative spreadsheet

In which I express myself via the medium of math.

When I was littler I never once said “When I grow up I want to use spreadsheets all day long”. It was never the goal to be stuck behind a screen looking at tables of data and working out what on earth it means.

I have a hard sell with the work I do, Mrs G will often say that I have the same title as Chandler from the classic TV series Friends (let’s talk about how old Friends is for a moment…it started in 1994, so for the Feliciraptor it is already 19 years old. The equivalent age gap for me would replace Friends with I Love Lucy). Yet I’m no executive specialising in statistical analysis and data reconfiguration, I’m just someone who happens to be good at reading numbers and relaying them back to others.

The only problem is with numbers you have no way to express yourself.

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The space to write

In which I sit down and just start typing.

Giving up the morning hassle of driving has freed up a lot more time in my life. Instead of spending two hours a day trying to find a piece of music I like (or not getting angry at the volume of adverts on chat radio) I now spend my life with the pleasure of my fellow commuters on the British rail network (…and I love it so).

Although I don’t get all 120 minutes back I do have half it, and this is fantastic for my productivity. Where I used to have to find some time to sit down and write a few hundred words (because the daily target is three hundred) now I have the perfect amount of time to sit down and tap away at a keyboard.

There is only one place to write and that is alone at a typewriter. The writer who has to go into the streets is a writer who does not know the streets. . . . when you leave your typewriter you leave your machine gun and the rats come pouring through.
— Charles Bukowski, Notes of a Dirty Old Man

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One year on…

In which I keep messing with my blog rather than adding to it.

I woke up to a reminder that it has been one year since the Red Posting, the day when I went all Lannister on this site and removed every post from the last few years. The reasons why I did it are now a bit of a blur, normally the destruction of this site is accompanied by a downturn in my mood, because on this occasion I had no reason send everything to the trash bin.

Since then I have been slowly rebuilding the site to be a better version. I can’t remember which one I am on now because I have been through as many cycles of rebirth and destruction as The Matrix. This time it does feel a bit like the ending to that trilogy, the cycle may have been broken but it has probably left a bunch of people disappointed.

Now one year on from the ‘do-over’ I’m not sure what has really changed. The number of posts is at a similar volume, and the quality is just as erratic, but I have become more regular at putting something up here (so far I am on track with the Daily Post challenge, beating my previous record by eight months).

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A case of deja vu

In which I try not to repeat myself.

Sometimes I feel like I’m just repeating myself, maybe it is a glitch in the matrix or life is just a great big circle? The laundry seems to be never ending, and another day another load of toys to tidy away. One more trip to the stores and another hour or so to chill out.

Normally I get to relax by doing a little bit of writing, but again it seems like what is old is new again. Especially with today’s writing prompt which was last seen just a few weeks ago. So now I can either cheat and repost it or I need to think of something new.

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