Dealing with people on lunch

In which I try to maintain my dignity while being blocked by old people.

After sitting next to someone on the train who thought it socially acceptable to play a noisy version of solitaire on their phone it’s time for me to reconsider running for Supreme Ruler of the World again. This way I can take action against those that irritate me by trebucheting them off the coast of Scotland into the ocean.

It can be difficult to create a law banning stupid people, especially through our current government as it would be like turkeys voting for Christmas, so I need to add a small amendment to existing laws and see what I can get away with. Thankfully I’ve just been out to lunch and know exactly what I want to ban.

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Dealing with all the idiots

In which I don’t get other people.

I don’t understand people. I think I would be more qualified to be a basketball player than an anthropologist, and be more likely to give birth than be a psychologist. I just don’t get it. What is it about people that is supposed to be so amazing?

Look at yourself, you’re irrational, illogical and lots of other things beginning with an I. The only species more confusing to me are pandas, daddy-long-legs and those dogs that go in handbags.

So what is it about people that confuses me?

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