Meat, the real five a day

In which I refuse to eat the food my food eats

Mrs G will tell you that I have a varied diet, as long as varied means “heavily biased towards meat”. If the average human is an omnivore, and about 7% of the UK population are vegetarian, then to even out the numbers I have to be 98% carnivore (the remaining 2% is mainly garlic bread).

PHOTO-Bacon Garlic Bread

I’ve been told that some sort of vegetation is essential in your diet, apparently for the nutrients and health reasons. I’m not convinced by this and I’m sure this is just propaganda put forward by the Illettuceami of the world. Eating leaves of any plant still tastes like eating grass. I understand the aesthetic value of salad but as an essential, or even headline act, it’s just doesn’t feel right to me.

This means I need to choose some meat.

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Lunchtime Review : Beige Food

In which I avoid anything green.

The Menu.

Ingredients: Lots of brown.

Preparation: Open the box of brown.

Cost: A lot of brown later on.


Seriously…what? 8 cocktail sausages, 4 pork and tomato bites, 4 sausage rolls and 4 mini scotch eggs.

Colour plays an important role in food, it indicates what kind of experience or benefit you get from the item you are about to put in your mouth. It’s why chefs spend so much time fussing over how a dish looks as if it appears tasty then it probably is. The Duck Rule and everything.

There is one colour to rule them all, a colour that is quite honest about what you are going to get. Beige.
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A simple English breakfast

In which I throw everything in the one pan.

Saturday morning is the most sacred part of my week, it is the time where I sit down in front of my weekly feast of fried pork products (although some may argue that it’s not just Saturday I do this).

Most people’s idea of an English breakfast can vary, some people will swear by black pudding whilst others need to see the plate swimming in baked beans. Some prefer brown sauce, others red. My own has a strange variety of tinned tomatoes with strict rules around their preparation.

Firstly the fat to cook in, for the health conscious you can use sunflower oil. If you want to do this right then stop worrying about cardiovascular disease and stick in a knob of lard (beef fat). It has a lower cooking temperature so will prevent burning of your meat. There is nothing worse than some hot oil giving your sausage a nasty burn, so make sure you wear an apron for safety.

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Lunchtime Review : Bangers and Mash

In which I grab a couple of links and a jug of gravy.

The Menu.

Ingredients: A couple of sausages and mashed potatoes

Preparation: Work canteen

Cost: £4.40


How would you how good a company is to work for? Maybe look at how much are they paying you or research in the the opinions of ex-staff, they may even be one of the the various best places to work for (although these polls now feel like a Buzzfeed article).

I have my own particular way of determining a corporation’s worth, check what food you can get from the canteen.
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