It has been said that Britain and America are separated by a common language, but this completely ignores the 3,000 miles of Atlantic Ocean that happens to be between us. That’s a testable and provable fact; I checked it out myself when I flew over it.
I had a conversation the other night regarding the education of any future children in America (named Velociraptor and Stormageddon) and some of the quirks of Anglo-American conventions on language came to light. In the interests of cross-Pond special relations I made some effort to compromise with my Stateside girlfriend and agreed that any progeny could use Americanisms, I would just choose to shun and ignore them if they did.
If they want their lunch wrapped in Aluminum foil then I would try to find this imaginary element and failing to do so would leave their sandwiches to dry out. If they choose to add in the extra ‘i’ and spell it correctly then no more dried crusts. Continue reading
Considering I don’t like cheese, mushroom, onions, liver, green vegetables, other coloured vegetables and most fruit; I don’t consider that I am a picky eater.
It’s not that I don’t have an aversion to certain food groups (mainly those that don’t walk around the fields before they get to my plate), but more that I am not the kind of person who would kick up a stink because someone had left a tiny bit of skin on a chicken breast or a tiny sliver of fat on the bacon.
I have got used to having to move those pieces of food I find offensive to one side of the plate, it’s not that hard to shift a slice of mushroom from within a lasagna. If it’s on the plate it’s not in my stomach, the same as if it had remained in the store. Net result is no fungi in my mouth. Continue reading
There is no better way to motivate me than offering me a badge or trophy for doing something. Being given points for completing tasks or acting in a certain way can control the way I live my live. I am a scorewhore.
This morning I received an email from Goodreads telling me I was so close to completing my year’s target of reading 30 books, and if I did achieve it then I would get a special badge to place on my profile. This sent me into a frenzy, I mean a badge for reading! Then the two people who view my profile will be able to see that in 2011 I read an awful lot. Continue reading
I have been saving the world. I say saving, but it’s more accurate to say thieving, murdering, mining and doing everything but saving the world. Since November 11th I have been the Dovahkiin, the Dragonborn, a hero, I have been addicted to Skyrim.
For those not in the know, it is a massive RPG game placing you in the snowy northern lands of Tamriel where the dragon Alduin the Great has risen, and the Elder Scrolls prophesise that this will bring around the end of the world. Bearing in mind that I have already saved the world the last time the Elder Scrolls said it was going to end I’m not sure how much trust I place in them. As the last of the Dovahkiin, those born to slay dragons, I am meant to be running around trying to prevent this destruction.
Except I’m not a hero. Continue reading
So yesterday I explained why friends are classing me as a metrosexual, something which surely sounds as crazy as me becoming a NBA basketballer…who wins the slam dunk competition.
As my right of reply I shall tackle the same topics I did before to explain why I am not so much a ‘new man’ but more of a lazy one (with a hint of OCD). Continue reading
According to some I am a hip, man about town who takes pride in his appearance and is oh-so-metrosexual.
As far as I can see this is based upon the following factors: Continue reading
Why move to The Big Apple, a city so good it was named twice, not as old as Amsterdam or York, the city that never sleeps (which at the moment would suit me fine due to encroaching insomnia)?
Last night I was reading off a list of ten reasons not to move to New York (to a native as well) and decided that most of the reasons were either fictional or unrealistic, such as being more likely to be a victim of police brutality than a victim of crime. There is a distinct possibility that I could be moving stateside from Blighty so as a fair and balanced response I thought I should provide my reasons to move to New York. Continue reading
Recently I’ve ruminated about what life was like in 2001, and was amazed by how much we take for granted today that wasn’t around ten years ago, like iPods and Google.
Taking this line of thought, what about if we were to look forward ten years to 2021. How would the world look in the third decade of the 21st Century? So come with me in the GeekErgoSum time machine as we travel to the future: Continue reading
I hail from Shakespeare country, yet my total knowledge of the Bard’s work only really consists of Macbeth and Romeo & Juliet (and they were only because they were the choices at GCSE English). To me Othello is a game played with black and white counters and the Tempest is an arcade game by Atari. Didn’t Iambic Pentameter play Rugby for Wales?
So recently when it was suggested that I should read Hamlet (and certainly not in any attempt to impress a lady friend…how could you suggest such a thing!) I thought why not, I’d heard The Lion King was loosely based on the play and I love that film. So off to Waterstones to find a copy of the tragic tale of the Prince of Denmark. Continue reading
I’m not sure if you can tell or not, but The Angry Dwarf was written at a time when I was feeling pretty bitter about everything. Events over the last few months have completely changed that mindset around and my thoughts no longer really match the ending. I still like the original ending, but have been asked to rewrite it to make it happier.
As the person asked so nicely, and I am unable to say no to pretty girls (see here) here is the shiny unicorns and rainbows ending. Continue reading