You give me road rage

In which I’m racing to the best days.

When you are faced by the madness caused by crazy people you have two options, you can put up with the madness and let it slide or try to do something about it. For the most part I am of the former camp. I find it much easier to roll my eyes and be like a queen with power over ice.

I have to internalise this pent up rage on a daily basis whilst driving to work, if I didn’t it would eat me up and lead me to going a little bit Falling Down. I even have the glasses.
A poster depicting an older man standing on a concrete platform, wearing a business outfit, holding a briefcase and a shotgun. Above in black letters it reads: "Michael Douglas". Below in large white letters over a red background it reads: "Falling Down". Beneath that with the film credits, it reads in small white letters: "A Joel Schumacher Film". In the background are skyscrapers and a smog filled sky.
Still it does get to me, sitting in the car paying for the privilege of going nowhere as the dead dino-juice gases emit from the metal boxes around me. There are a number of wrongs that I would love to right.
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The normalcy of life

In which my life is a series of fortunate events.

There have been times in my life where it has felt completely crazy. I’ve only just started to experience the feeling of a settled life after almost five years of upheaval and constant change. I look around and this period of calm feels almost surreal.

Instead of reacting to anything that life can throw at me I’m starting to plan, the short-termism of the last few years being replaced by a long-term view of what I want to do, or be. I have felt like my life has been in one long sideways skid for so long that now I have straightened it out and got control back I am ready to put my foot on the accelerator again.

That feels odd.

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5 items to survive a desert island

In which I’m abandoned with the barest of essentials.

Imagining the necessities I would need for survival on a desert island can lead me one of two ways. I could either choose the sensible option of equipment that would prolong my life until I’m either rescued or expire, or take the other path and select the items that are as ill thought out as a Government healthcare website.

So the healthcare.gov route it is.

If I’m going to be stranded on a deserted island in today’s age the likelihood is that I’m never going to be rescued. I’m going to have been travelling by plane or boat and both of them have GPS systems that allow rescuers to track where I disappeared. If I am truly lost then there is going to be little hope for me. I may as well be stuck on an island that is a metaphor for limbo with random numbers, polar bears and that guy who played a hobbit.

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A not so scary view of the future

In which the future is like now, but with more crazy.

The future is a scary place full of strange unknowns. If history is the study of the past to stop the same mistakes happening then maybe it’s a failure, not only do the same mistake keep recurring but we manage to find new and amazing ways to mess everything up.

What if you could travel to the future? What would you be able to do? Everytime you thought you had changed something for the better there  would be unseen consequences that managed to speed up the hell-bound cart.

Still maybe I could try and predict the future, what harm can it do? In the last year the President of the United States said the ‘n’ word, rainbow flags were raised as others came down, and Donald Trump decided he wanted to build a wall round Mexico.

How could I predict anything crazier? Continue reading “A not so scary view of the future”

Epitomising good/bad teachers

In which I do my homework but cut class.

Student’s can be right pains in the proverbial, I was one of those awkward children that I’m sure teacher’s would get frustrated with. I could be very well behaved and eager to learn but then I was one of those mischievous souls that would get easily distracted. Something I am sure my managers at work would also probably agree with.

It wasn’t just my fault. As much as we complain that there are a minority of children that spoil it for the rest of the cohort there should also be the acknowledgement that, while the vast majority are excellent, there are also less than stellar educators in our midst. I had my fair share when I was at school but thankfully I also had some teachers who more than made up for it.

Scenes of my greatest crime, my GCSE Art grade

This is a post about them. It is my way of giving a belated thanks to all those who put up with me, and helped mould me into a useful member of society.
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Dad music

In which I am going to have CDs marketed to my children around father’s day.

I’m now of the age where I only know who is in the charts if I hear them on a TV ad.

Today was spent listening to ‘classic’ music from the 1990’s, I am a member of Generation X but we are being left behind in the alphabetisation of time. No more so than my taste in music which is certainly showing my age.

Here are a few of those albums that are stuck on my playlist to show I am too cool for those older, but to fusty for those below. This is obviously a reflection on my music taste and I therefore make no apologies for the quality.
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50 ways you know you’re a Geek

In which I open a window of the world of the geek.

Ambling around the internet I came upon a very interesting pseudo-infographic from a company trying to get some cheap PR and SEO by talking about a random subject thinly connected to their business.

It claims to be able to separate the “real geeks” from the “nerd chics” by listing the 50 things a geek should know, ranging from facts about sci-fi to programming tidbits. So to measure my geek credentials I’m going to take the test and see what I end up with. It is an interesting little window into the house of geekdom.

Feel free to play along (although I will be answering some of the questions so don’t cheat).

50 Things a Geek Should Know

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The perfect crime

In which I plan the perfect crime and fail horribly.

In reality the perfect crime is a bit of a misnomer. If you don’t get the credit for the crime then, well, what’s the point? It’s like painting a masterpiece and not signing it. If the crime is undetectable, how do others know there was a crime in the first place?

So here are a few pointers to committing the ‘nearly perfect’ crime.

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4 things that took the nuclear option

In which I may have leant on the red button.

Nuclear power was once meant to be the fuel of the future (which as anyone who is in the know will now tell you is quite obviously LPG – how long does the brainwashing last?) In the early days scientists and marketeers alike told us of the many amazing applications the mighty could have.

Rightly or wrongly, nuclear power has now got a bad reputation. Incidents such as Chernobyl and the recent events at the Fukishima plant have highlighted that when a nuclear power plant tends to get into trouble it generally causes quite a few problems.

Many people have imagined a post-nuclear apocalyptic world, so that sounds like a great excuse for a list.

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My 7 amazing skills

In which I list the reasons I am not that bad.

Self-deprecation is a British past-time, we don’t really go in for trumpet blowing. As a native of those isles I follow this national stereotype like an ardent tea drinker. There is very few times I stand up and say I am good at something preferring to sit down and let others take the credit.

What if I wasn’t so humble? Maybe I should take the opportunity to tell the world what I am good at? Do I have a unique ability or skill that I want to shout about and get my horn out for a blowing?

The simple answer is no.

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