Late Review : Snow White

In which Snow White is really just the evil step-daughter.

Poor, innocent Snow White. The fairest (source: magic mirror) of all princesses yet cruelly hounded until saved by her prince. How could I have issues with her? Quite easily it seems, because the fairy tale shows ‘princesses’ are naive and stupid, jealous and cruel.

Oh, she looks cute but there is a cold heart under that dress
Before the main event it’s probably best to tackle the villain of the piece “The Wicked Queen”. The Wicked Queen is a representation of the princess’ greatest fears, that there is someone in some physical way better than you (aka fairness). A constant need of reassurance not from another person, but from a mirror.

Wicked step mother in Snow white looking in the magic mirror

“Yes, you are pretty and oh so fair” cries back a reflective piece of glass. The reflection you see is just their own self-image patting them on the back saying “well done you, you hit the genetic jackpot and came out with good looks”. And this goes on until that one day they feel that little niggle in the back of the mind that perhaps suggests there is someone ‘better’.

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Late Review : Skyrim

In which I get my Dovahkin on.

I spend my evenings in a grey landscape glistening with rain, such is life in the wastelands of Fallout 4. This is the latest game to suck me in with hundreds of hours of gameplay when I have none to spare.

I don’t like stress, yet I go for games that are nothing but. Not that I’ve regretted the end destination of the activities that cause the pain, but the journey of getting there.

Thankfully I have hobbies that let me take out some of the pent up rage and not store it all in the knots in my back (which is a good job as it is already full). Gaming is a great way to be able to turn on and tune out, and doesn’t create too much stress in the process (ignoring a few damaged PlayStations after some bad Fifa results). Previous to the radioactive plains of Boston I my go-to-game saw me adventuring the tundra of Tamriel, for I am Dragonborn and relaxed by scouring Skyrim for gold coins.

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Late Review : Pacific Rim

In which I engage my elbow rockets and go pew pew.

I love robots, and I love giant monsters, so the news that Guillermo del Toro is looking to add Godzilla to the Pacific Rim movie is the best official news I have had this year. You see Pacific Rim may be the greatest film I have ever seen. This isn’t a view based upon quality of writing, story or characterisation. It is based on the fact I have never been lucky enough to watch anything that has entertained so much. For just over two and a half hours I was in rapture.

Seriously, this is the most fun I have ever had in the cinema. I was worried after watching the trailers because I was so excited, the geek site reviews loved it, it was being billed as one of the best summer blockbusters in years. My own internal hype was maxed out, but I’ve been disappointed before (*cough* The Hobbit). As the lights went down and the trailers passed the music started. It was within a few seconds I knew this was going to be something special.

To get you in the mood here is the intro music, play it while you read it is now the soundtrack to my life.

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Late Review : Jurassic Park

In which a tiny butterfly has a large impact on my life.

In 1994 I discovered a book that was to have a profound influence on my life. Prior to reading it I was still very much undecided about what I found interesting in life, I had spent the previous years devouring information from books but with no real focus. I was on my way to being a jack of all trades.

Yet one book was able to catch my attention and set me on a path that still has effects on me 15 years later.

It’s not a classic (although I think it is) that is studied by academics, it is not full of literary prose and characterisation. It will never be counted against the great works of man, but for me it the novel that has had more effect on my life than any other.

That book is Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton.

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Late Review : Les Miserables

In which I’ll hear the people sing.

Dum dum dum dum dum de dum dum dum pa pa pa pa papapaaaa…At the End of the Day you’re another day older.

People will be heard singing, a lot of women will cry and there is a higher death count than a ninth episode of Game of Thrones; so goes Les Miserables the movie. Being stuck inside the movie means that you are going to have to deal with a lot of crazy than is not really in the stage show (although it is just as long as the novel adaptation of the film).

It is a world full of people staring and constantly getting new hats. So many hats and so much staring.

We arrive in the aftermath of Pirates of the Caribbean, and Jean VanWolverine is helping what I assume is the other X-Men to pull in a big ship into the dock. Everyone is singing and getting a bit wet and it all looks a bit unsafe. Keeping an eye on stuff is Maximus Decimus Javert, who seems to be looking very vengeful and rocking a pretty cool hat.

Les Miserables Javert wearing a hat
It may look like a night cap but it’s a ‘No Mercy’ hat really.

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Late Review : Gravity

In which I don’t let go.

Let’s say you bumped into someone from another world, other than trying to comprehend why you among seven billion others have been chosen for first contact how would you try to communicate what makes humanity special? In the past we have sent golden records into the depths of space (ignoring the fact that decades on most people on earth wouldn’t have the technology to play the metallic album) laden with the cream of culture.

With so much choice how could you narrow down some form of media to convince your new AFF (Alien Friend Forever) that we are worth spending time with. You are humanity’s Metacritic/Yelp/Zagat and you have to pick a movie or book or song to let them understand your species.

Which neatly brings me to Gravity.
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Late Review : Mysterious Cities of Gold

In which the fun has just begun.

Now I have a child I want them to experience some of the amazing (or what I consider amazing) items from my childhood. So I’ve decided to reminisce about my life as a youngster and all this week is childhood week on Geek Ergo Sum. It also ties in nicely to my Disney tunes.

I was flicking through the various programmes on Amazon Prime yesterday when I hit a rich vein of nostalgia. Among the He-Man, Thundercats and other Eighties shows was the greatest of them all. Mysterious Cities of Gold.


As children we all grew up pretending to be the heroes or princesses we saw on television, but I grew up wanting to be an inanimate object. I wanted to the golden condor from Mysterious Cities of Gold.

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Late review : The Hobbit

In which I go there and back again, and again, and again.

Doing a review of a recently released movie is fraught with peril. The chances are that not many people will have seen it yet so the likelihood of inadvertently divulging a spoiler is high. So I’m going to start of this review of the final part of The Hobbit saga with a huge big one.

If you see this movie it will spoil the whole of the Lord of the Rings.

There we go, that’s out of the way. I’m not talking about the shocking revelations that Sauron is back, or that Arathorn’s soon could become something special, but the fact that “The Battle of the Five Armies” is close to ruining the original trilogy and all the goodwill that they created. Thankfully is is the briefest of all visits to Middle Earth (which may be due to the fact is it based upon an A5 pamphlet). Continue reading “Late review : The Hobbit”

Late review : Strictly Come Dancing

In which I give it a seeeeeeven.

Elf has never done it for me, I think its my aversion towards Will Ferrell. It’s also for that reason I am not fussed about Anchorman or it’s sequel. The only time I have been able to stand him in a movie is when he played it straight in Stranger than Fiction. The same applies to Jim Carey, I don’t find him funny but thought he was brilliant in The Truman Show. This means that for me Christmas isn’t impending when I see this movie.

The real countdown to Christmas begins with a TV show that concludes in the last weekend before the big day. It puts the sparkle into the holidays and, while not being the most manly of programmes, is full of fun and cheer. That’s right ladies and gents, tonight is the first episode of the camp-as-Butlins Strictly Come Dancing.

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