Being sick

In which I wallow in my own sympathy.

SARS, ebola, a serious case of missing legs. Growing up these were still not valid reasons to miss a day of school. Only once I lost the capacity to see, hear and write (and it had to be a compete set) could I think about staying home sick.

As an adult it’s a bit easier to self-diagnose the risk of going to work while incapacitated, perhaps because Mother G won’t have to look after me sitting feeling all sorry for myself. After a number of years of living alone I have been able to cope with not feeling great by just sitting sullenly in front of the TV. Should I allow others to take care of me, when I prefer to soldier on alone?

I don’t like feeling unwell. I have a certain dislike to the sensation that my fragile mortality is being tested by external causes. The fact that I can be brought low by a few single cell organisms makes me feel that my impending doom is ever nearer. Being a typical man who has suffered (yes SUFFERED) through the masculine strain of Orthomyxoviruses I would rather just sit and wait an illness out.

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Having an office cold – Part II

In which I manfuly spread my disease.

I love this song by The Cranberries.

What I don’t love is the office cold, which is just lingering like some feral youth on the street. Being all up to no good and just generally causing nuisance.

Even when I think it’s gone it makes more comebacks than Michael Jordan. Not the highly successful Bulls kind of comeback, this is the Wizards multiplied by his attempt at baseball style comeback. Continue reading “Having an office cold – Part II”

Walking with hayfever

In which I look at this green and pleasant lands through itchy and red eyes.

Thanks to the British climate we are experiencing a mini heatwave, and this means it is warmer here than Marrakech. It is around this time that I see pictures of all the scenic walks that can be taken, and adverts full of families riding bikes and walking dogs. It looks so much fun to be strolling around the fields and forests of England.

Then  the curse of the summertime, the terrible affliction that stops me enjoying beer gardens and barbecues. The lamest illness in the world.

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A modicum of comfort

In which a cat, a bowl of soup, and a beach towel make an appearance.

All is not well in the State of Sum, I’ve spent the day at behind a desk running a fever from an unknown ailment. This is not one of those “cough man flu” situations as I have no other symptoms, I’m just running a high temperature for some reason.

I’ve been like a little fire since yesterday, and I’ve been able to only get a few hours sleep. It’s one of those stupid fevers where you are warm with covers and cold without so in the end I kept them on because that was less effort. Now though I’m the train home.

This means I’ve become one of ‘those’ people and I feel sorry for the lady who is now having to sit next to the sweating guy who is literally feverishly typing on his phone (that would be me). I just want to get home for some comfort.

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Having an office cold

In which I’m being poisoned by the air con.

A tube of Pringles, turning back time, a couple of loaves and fish. There are things that are meant to be shared, not among these are viruses and bacterial infections.

When the end comes for humanity it will not be through war or the murderous tendencies of Beliebers but via sickness. Contrary to what the movies tell you it will not be because of mass international transit or zombies, the reason we will all get Gnu Flu is because of modern offices and the sickness absence policy of big business. We are all going to perish at the hands of HR.

Along with the D-Day landings, Erin Brokovic or Bilbo the greatest act of bravery the ordinary person can demonstrate is going into the office with a cold. Despite having a highly infectious illness in such a compact environment that encourages the transmission of the flu bug the worker will struggle in to show the kind of commitment that is demanded by the modern work culture.

Continue reading “Having an office cold”