The new professional me

In which I become the person at work I want to be.

It is the end of the year, or at least it is at work, and as a result we have our end of year reviews to do. Throughout my whole career I have struggled with these as I don’t have the tendency to look back over what I have done as I prefer hurtling full steam ahead.

There is also the small problem of having to write about myself. Hang on, you might say, you have been more than happy to witter on here about La Vie en Geek so what is stopping you doing the same on a formal document.

If I choose to write about Frodo or getting a haircut then it is not important, I try to avoid important, but the end of year review is going to determine any pay rise or bonus I get. I just wish I could be that person who takes my career by the scruff, maybe some kind of Werewolf with ambition.

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The chaos of life

In which any attempt to predict a course in life will only end in failure.

I don’t believe in going back and changing history, it is easy to redefine one event for a different outcome but there is little heed paid to the ripples of your new reality.

When you toss a coin and call heads or tails the impact of your choice does have some effect on the next time you flick it in the air. Did you get it right, then maybe you will be more likely to go with the same decision again (or maybe not because it’s 50/50) so changing your mind is going to have repercussions.

Let’s say you have you do a coin toss once a day, then you are creating 730 different realities a year. If everyone on the planet did the same then we are creating 5,110,000,000,000 options a year. This is just human decisions over a coin toss, it doesn’t count the myriad of choices we make every day let alone over a lifetime.

Now consider the impact of making a big change to your history. This is not just a Butterfly in Tokyo causing a tornado in Texas, it is creating a hurricane in your life.

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Tossing a coin for another life

In which I try to imagine whether it will be heads or tails.

I don’t believe in the Multiverse, it seems a bit over complicated to me. For the  uninitiated the multiverse is the idea that for every decision that can be made an alternative universe is created. If you toss a coin there is one universe created for it landing heads and one for tails (not counting the one where it lands on its side and the one where you don’t catch it and it rolls under the sofa).

Let’s say you have you do a coin toss once a day, then you are creating 730 different realities a year. If everyone on the planet did the same then we are creating 5,110,000,000,000 universes a year. This is just human decisions over a coin toss, it doesn’t count the myriad of choices we make every day let alone over a lifetime.

Let’s throw a little chaos theory in while we are talking all physics.

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Just being me

In which I look forward to the new year.

2015 has started to leave, as I type this parts of the globe are already taking part in 2016 yet I still wait for the calendar on my desk to become obsolete. As the new year approaches I normally have this feeling that it will be no different to any I have experienced before.

Every year seemed to be an Annus hic ut prius, with the promise of change and the disappointment that I wasn’t able to do anything in the last twelve months. A time to reflect on another three hundred and sixty-five days of wasted opportunities, so if I had the chance to become someone else next year and alter myself utterly I think I will choose to stay the same of me.

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Wishing your life away

In which I’d wish for no wishes.

I should have worked harder on my exams, I shouldn’t have worked for that opticians, I shouldn’t have gone to try University a second time, I shouldn’t have worked in Oxfordshire, I shouldn’t have started supporting AC Milan, I shouldn’t have lost contact with the Nobber, I shouldn’t have done a lot of things. Wishing to change your life is easy but you know what is hard?

Trying to imagine your life if you had wished those situations to be different? If I had wished to have gone to Warwick Uni, never met the nobber, not took that job in Oxford. My life wouldn’t have been a little different, it would have been unrecognisable. I would not be sitting here typing this, I may not even be doing a blog. Who knows, I may not even be here. Having a wishful life is going to change your life for the worst as well as for the best.

Edith Piaf had it spot on, if I wish away the regrets in life then I have to rewrite the positive things that arose from them. I’ll let this man explain it:

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Life is like a hurricane

In which a sudden windfall burns a hole in my pocket.

My current available balance is £10,000,000,000.00. I had just won a billion pounds in the lottery but when you are rich it is very easy to become super rich. So thanks to accountants and tax havens I have been able to increase my wealth ten times.

Now I’m basically Scrooge McDuck, but without the huge pool of gold that is impossible to swim in. I mean the weight of the coins would crush you.

So what would I do with my sudden cash windfall? Let me think about my life as a newly minted billionaire….

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New skin

In which I choose to be me.

January 1st already, it doesn’t seem like yesterday since it was 2014, which means I need to begin the process of deciding how I am going to change this year (especially as I have been putting off dieting and exercising until today). I am in the process of writing my goals for 2015, more on that later, but first I have to decide what kind of person I want to be.

For the first time in forever I have no idea what I would like to change, last year was such a gentle and good year because I wasn’t too busy trying to reinvent myself that I realise I don’t need to be anyone different. I could have a new skin but I am feeling extremely comfortable in the one I have.

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