Travelogue : Talking about my travels

In which I stay quiet about the places I’ve been

It may be my European location, and certainly due to my NY family, but I have been lucky to travel a lot. I’ve gone on about New York and China and the culture of travelling but never talked about all the other places I’ve been. I’ve learnt from experience that if you are lucky enough to be able to travel it is rare that you are lucky enough to find people who want to hear about it.

Maybe it’s more to do with me, or the people I’ve known, or that going somewhere exotic is a cause for jealousy. Here’s the thing, I don’t smoke, I rarely go out, don’t have debts I’m paying off, an affordable mortgage, worked hard to get a good job and save my money. This means I have savings and the means to go away, and away far.

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The journey is not the best bit

In which I’m leaving on a Jet Plane and hope I’ll be landed soon.

Why is it that all the amazing places I want to go to require a flight? Aside from the obvious costs of getting anywhere I never find the journey (according to some sayings the best part of getting somewhere) particularly fun.

I’m not scared of flying by any means I just don’t prefer it to other methods of transport. Unfortunately as there is no trans-Atlantic railway I have little option but to strap myself in a metal tube for a few hours and endure the feeling of helplessness that accompanies it.

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I have a face for directions

In which strange people are always asking where to go.

I am a little confused I have something on my face, looking in the mirror I can’t tell if there are veins really close to the skin or if I have spots that look like little church markers. It is confusing because I seem to get stopped by a lot of people to ask for directions.

I do wonder if my face looks like a map because there is nothing else about my face that suggest I am a human sat-nav. My demeanour on the streets is the same as on a train, avoid eye contact and march purposefully towards my destination. Despite this public hostility I am still flagged down to provide assistance to lost travellers.

Last week while using my phone I provided the location of the large shopping centre in Birmingham. If I walk too close to a kerb a car will crawl up beside me and I have to tell them where to go. Even when abroad I am still treated like Google Maps.
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Travelogue : Luxor, Egypt

In which I travel down the Nile trying to avoid the locals.

When I was young I wanted to be Indiana Jones, something about the life of an adventuring archaeologist really struck a chord with me. I mean who wouldn’t want to run through ancient ruins wearing a cool hat and being able to use a whip? It seemed just the life for me other than having to be outdoors a lot, getting dirty and being in peril. Still when I grew up one career path I thought about was an Egyptologist.

It’s one of those very specific careers where other than writing hieroglyphics for tourists you have to work in a museum environment so I gave it up to go and do something that would allow me to go to Egypt and see all the sights but most importantly get to do it from an air conditioned coach. So going to Luxor for New Years was very exciting, and one of the most disappointing trips I have ever been on.

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In-flight entertainment

In which the films got small.

Don’t panic, I’m not using an electronic device with the wifi active on plane. I suppose I could be but that would mean I would have 300% more legroom and the ability to lie down. Does this blog look like it is being run by someone with that much money?

I’m sitting typing away because the inflight entertainment is broke, and it’s like the 1990’s all over again where you have to resort to other means to keep yourself entertained. I can’t even tell you how long it has been off as I can’t see a little plane flying over a map. I’m sitting here panicking because I have no idea what the outside temperature is, I might need a coat.

I wouldn’t mind but as we are on a British Airways flight we get the touchscreens in the seat in front to play with and I was a good deal of the way into Skyfall, and was looking forward to catching up on the movies I’ve missed because of my cinema apathy. There is even a good selection of the Oscar winners, yet not that one with Denzel Washington as a pilot. I guess that’s not really a surprise, I do wonder if there is a blacklist of movies and programmes that are banned from any airline’s inflight entertainment lest it cause a bit of concern during a patch of turbulence.

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Travelogue : Places I’ve been

In which I look to travel some when nice.

I’ve been extremely lucky to travel to most corners of the world, especially in the Northern hemisphere (the closest I have come to crossing the equator is The Maldives. Thinking about where I still want to go is a short list (New Zealand and Brazil) but there are still places I have been that I would like to go to some other time.

Literally, some other time. I have been able to visit some of the greatest cities on Earth but I was less than impressed with them. If I had the chance to revisit them I would love to see them at a different time, perhaps during a period that shows of their quality.

As usual, in no particular order, here is my temporal travel list.
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Just getting there

In which if it moves I’m on it.

I’m an equal opportunity traveller it seems. I hate them all equally. Apparently the best part about arriving somewhere is the journey but I live in hope that one day teleportation becomes a viable and non-law of physics breaking mode of travel.

The thought of having to get from point A to point B via any means of transportation fills me with dread and rage. What causes this dislike of mobilisation, and why do I love travelling if I don’t like the process of getting there?
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Travelogue : Cruising around the Med

In which I’m on a boat.

I like cruising around the Med

A poem by Geek Ergo Sum aged 35 and 3/20ths – written in semi rhyming free prose (and done on the train so no guarantees on the quality) and inspired by both a map of the Mediterranean and two weeks spen on a boat

PIC-Map of the Mediterranean

I like cruising around the Med,

I can do it from my bed,

You get to go on a great big ship,

The waves go up and then they dip.

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Making conversation on the train

In which I do my best to avoid my fellow commuters.

Sitting in the car, stuck in traffic is horrible. While I listen to the radio I am thankful that I am in my own company and not longer a prisoner of public transport. By driving I am no longer having to take the train and rely on the omnishambles that is the British Rail network. After being a commuter for half a year I came to realise the horror of the daily ride to work. I’ve always been used to travelling alone either by car or foot but being enclosed with other people just highlights my dislike of being a member of the public.

Now though I am back on the rails and commuting into to work via the majesty of the British rail network. This means slow and overcrowded trains and my best impression of being horrendously anti-social so nobody dares to talk to me.
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Iceland Air

In which I fly to Rejka…Rekya…Wreckyo…Iceland.

I’ve just managed to squeeze in this one, like most things in my life I like to make the clutch play and pull of an amazing victory at the last minute. That’s because this post is the most northern post I have written, I’m currently at Rekjavik airport waiting for a connecting flight to see Nana G and family.

Life is full of little victories, getting The Feliciraptor to sleep for most of the first leg of the outbound flight feels like a base hit, now with the five hour part to Newark to come I’m looking for a solid play to make it all the way to gone plate.

Feliciraptor sleeping on a plane

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