Odes to things I love

On Valentine’s the one part of my life I don’t feel like having to say a special “I love you” to is Mrs G. We have this unwritten agreement that we like each other a lot, and she will tell me that she loves me to which I have only one reply.

So rather than upsetting her Shakespearephilia and attempting to write sonnets extolling her many virtues I’m going to attempt poetry (which is always a dangerous style for me to try) declaring my love for other items that get my blood racing (and it may also raise the blood pressure of those who love and cherish poetry).

On Valentine’s the one part of my life I don’t feel like having to say a special “I love you” to is Mrs G. We have this unwritten agreement that we like each other a lot, and she will tell me that she loves me to which I have only one reply.

So rather than upsetting her Shakespearephilia and attempting to write sonnets extolling her many virtues I’m going to attempt poetry (which is always a dangerous style for me to try) declaring my love for other items that get my blood racing (and it may also raise the blood pressure of those who love and cherish poetry).

Things what I love – A collection.

Continue reading “Odes to things I love”

Not doing Valentine’s Day

In which I don’t need to buy a card.

It is Valentine’s Eve in Maison-G and there are no last minute panics about tomorrow. No rushing out to the garage for flowers or desperately trying to find some thick paper to print off a home card.

It is because we don’t do Valentine’s day, and not just because we are married, we have never even attempted to do it. We didn’t even rely on the excuse of being separated by the Atlantic, thousands of miles of water are not the reason we don’t buy overpriced chocolate or twee cards.

Although some cards are awesome

Now that we are married we get the chance to be all romantic on Valentines Day, but we get to something a lot more fun. We get to ignore it.

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Numpties for Numpties

In which I act like a dummy so you don’t have to.

The world is full of stupid people; the results of elections and the popularity of certain TV shows are evidence on this. One publisher has spotted a niche in the market and has guides on everything dummies may want. Look in any bookstore and most sections you will see books with yellow spines declaring a quick and easy guide to that particular subject.

This weekend I was looking around for a book on Excel dashboards (and have found one – Excel Dashboards for Dummies) but then ended up on Amazon stumbling around the ‘For Dummies’ section. There are loads of them; a quick check says there are over 1,600 different titles.

This piqued my curiosity, what else could I learn about through the medium of Richard Tennant cartoons (is it just me or does anyone else first scan through to find the 5th Wave captions) and lists of ten things? What areas of my knowledge could be enhanced from dummy status? Continue reading “Numpties for Numpties”

The snowpocalypse is upo…it’s gone

In which a light dusting brings a country to its knees.

We’ve officially had our first failed Snowpocalypse of the year, the whole of the UK was warned about the impeding doom from some cold water in the sky and it sends everyone into a tizzy. We start to panic at the mere mention of a flutter, and start to prepare our exit plans from work.

One flake is enough to send the shivers through an office, murmurs and rumours of “did they send us home last time” spread and settle more heavily than the frozen precipitation. We have had some light snow and it is the end of civilization. Needless to say the country’s reaction is the same as it is every year.

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I don’t write by hand anymore

In which digital has replaced cursive.

It was going to be the year I did it, I was going to write that novel that was in me. It was going to be easy as I had a great story to tell and I wasn’t to bothered with the initial quality all I needed to do was write. By the end of 2014 I was technically (although by no means successfully) going to be a novelist.

I got as far as Chapter 1.

Trying to write something substantive, coherent to the point it had a point, proved more difficult than I expected. Something about it being on screen made it seem small, or maybe it was that the pages that got big. Writing on computer plays tricks on the mind because a three hundred word rant fits neatly on a few swipes of a tablet.

On paper less seems more, and it has been a long time since I lifted a nib for more than a few sentences.

Continue reading “I don’t write by hand anymore”

I laugh in the face of danger

In which I am wrapped in cotton wool.

I am banned from acts of Daring Do, Mrs G has put a kibosh on anything that I might class as fun. This is mainly because my definition of fun is the same as her definition of danger.

This means that I am unable to:

  • Go into space
  • Get a pilots licence
  • Bungee Jump

Actually I think I am verboten from doing any activity where my feet leave the ground.

Continue reading “I laugh in the face of danger”

New skin

In which I choose to be me.

January 1st already, it doesn’t seem like yesterday since it was 2014, which means I need to begin the process of deciding how I am going to change this year (especially as I have been putting off dieting and exercising until today). I am in the process of writing my goals for 2015, more on that later, but first I have to decide what kind of person I want to be.

For the first time in forever I have no idea what I would like to change, last year was such a gentle and good year because I wasn’t too busy trying to reinvent myself that I realise I don’t need to be anyone different. I could have a new skin but I am feeling extremely comfortable in the one I have.

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2014 End of Year Review

In which I look back on my 34th year.

That’s it then, another year over and what have I done? In one sense it was not as crazy as the previous few years but it has still gone by in a bit of a daze. I managed to get away without any life changing event for the first time since 2009 so it has given me some time to take stock and live life a little.

The best thing for me to do is take a look back at the resolutions I made all that time ago whilst in the middle of a baby-sleep-deprived state and see where I went wrong. After the Red-Posting a lot of what I had written has gone but I managed to find a copy of the post I made where I plotted out my new year resolutions…and looking at the first one I may be on to a loser here!

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NaNoWriMo 2014

In which I try to write my novel.

After years of threatening to do so I’m going to pull my fingers out and have a go at writing 50,000 words on some semi-coherent document. I’ll be putting to the test the theory that everyone has at least one novel in them by seeing if mine is easily accessible.

Those forty-nine words took only a few minutes to do in the middle of a Game of Thrones ad break, based upon that maths this should be a doddle. If only there weren’t likely to be a few problems along the way, and that’s not worrying about my prose or characterisation. Continue reading “NaNoWriMo 2014”