You can’t handle it

In which you can’t handle the truth.

Imagine you had a vial of truth serum, how would you use it and who would you use it on? Would you want to hear some truths or is it better to let lies cover any pain that honesty may cause?

People can be very sensitive to the truth, they profess to want to hear it but then once the reality of it is revealed they don’t seem to be able to handle it. The notion that it is best to air everything out flies in the face of not being a mean person, sometimes being a bit opaque can result in a lot less hurt.

I never lie, I may omit details and facts that give the illusion of a falsification but I never lie. I am the silver-tongue that will tell you not what you want to hear but what I want you to listen to. I would have made a perfect politician, if not for the megalomania and rampant paranoia.

This is the interesting aspect about lying, surely anyone who deals in lies all the time either trusts nobody else or is incredibly naive to think that they are the only one-eyed man in the kingdom of the blind.
Continue reading “You can’t handle it”

Shallow learning curve

In which I try not to think too much.

Lucy is a movie about Scarlett Johansson being the super powered femme fatale that is not constrained by living in the male-dominated Marvel universe. She gets to use all her brain and it turns out that let’s her do some pretty cool things. If I got to use all my brain I’m not so sure I’d want that power.

Apparently we only use 10% of the brain at the moment and that seems like plenty for what we need to do, any more than that and it has the potential for a lot of bad. I am able to get up in the morning and stumble around making a cup of tea on just 1% of my brain (as a Brit we have evolved tea making along with breathing and blinking) so what would I do with the rest of the neurons?

Continue reading “Shallow learning curve”

PowerPoint skills

In which I imagine the audience naked.

After writing the tale of The Nobber and the saga of the Best-Man demotion I did realise the one thing I was most disappointed at regarding the whole saga. Not being able to do a Best Man speech. I was looking forward to delivering a kick ass speech even if I was nervous at letting them down

I seem like I’m confident when I stand up in front of a group of people to speak but it is all a facade, I am, good at acting just not good at acting in front of others.

Being denied this opportunity was the one part that hurt the most, in fact during the demotion process I was once asked by the Future Mrs N to submit my proposed speech for approval like it was some kind of financial promotion for an insurance company. There was no way this was going to happen as it breaks the sacred bond between groom and best-man, and probably added to the reasons for my sudden dismissal.

Continue reading “PowerPoint skills”

Rejecting rejection

In which I refuse to let people refuse me things.

It’s not as though rejection is ever an experience you want, yet it will almost be certainly one that every one will have gone through in their life. I think Rudyard Kipling put it very well, it’s the Bear Necessity of life that If you treat triumph and disaster the same then yours is the Earth my son.

Nobody likes to be told that they are not good enough, we don’t go out intentionally to do a bad job or interview so when you get told that you best wasn’t good enough then you start to doubt yourself. You don’t consider that you may have been in the 100 metre sprint with Usain Bolt it’s the natural reaction to try to analyse what you did wrong.

Continue reading “Rejecting rejection”

Dealing with success and failure

In which I go from feeling at the top of the world to sinking all the way down.

Wednesday looked like it was going to be a good day. It started off a bit hectic but when lunch came around I was able to bag the last portion of Chicken Katsu Curry from the staff canteen. I had been waiting for this to reappear on the menu since I started so I was super excited about it (especially as it has become the dish I crave). It was going to be a good day.

Then my day came crashing down around me.

Luckily events in my life have taught me that this is merely a road bump in life. At the time it may seem like the worst time in the world but you can’t go up unless you’ve been down…unless you are climbing a mountain, then you can keep going up but eventually you will have to come down. But going down is good.

Continue reading “Dealing with success and failure”

What is the worst that could happen?

In which I decide to take a chance and ignore the consequences…should they happen.

I’m moving jobs, again, and putting the financial well being of our household at risk. It may be the case that I’m getting a (significant) pay rise but I’m trading that for job security. I’m off to join the world of contracting.

It suits my itinerant nature, I can be like The Littlest Hobo or The Hulk moving from town to town offering my help and wisdom before moving on. Maybe tomorrow I’ll settle down but for today I’ll take the rewards. What’s the worst that could happen?

Other than having no job?
Continue reading “What is the worst that could happen?”

Being a geek

In which I am comfortable with my nerdom.

I accept that I am a geek, heck my blog name declares it to be so. What I don’t understand is why many others can’t. My family and most of my friends make it sound like I should be ashamed of my social grouping. But I am not. Thankfully I have some awesome friends who do accept me for what I am.

I know fellow geeks (and nerds) who are made to feel that the fact they have obsessions that are not reported in the gossip columns or on trashy TV they are somehow lesser. I know the sons of Feanor, how is this different from knowing the names of the children of a z-list celebrity? I read fantasy novels, they read about their fantasy Mr Right.

Being a geek is only a matter of taste. There are computer, sci fi, gaming, movie, music, and sports geeks. Geeks tend to only spend time with others of a similar mindset. Just because they don’t ‘go out’ doesn’t mean they aren’t as social.

Continue reading “Being a geek”

My boring life

In which the boring can be interesting.

If you believed the news then the world is full of change and we are all on the cusp of some crisis affecting the status quo of our lives. In reality I got up this morning, went to work, sat through a load of meetings, and caught the train to go home.Tonight I will face the hardest choice of the day when I have to decide where I will order a take away from.

I am one of 7 billion people on this planet, and if the news affects a million different people a day then it will have an impact on me once every 19 years. This is the reality of real life, for most of us for most of the time it is mundane. As a result we have an existence that is hidden in the middle pages, or a segment just before that quirky animal at the end of the hour. We are page 27 or on at 15.53.

Continue reading “My boring life”

My own dream house

In which I design a dream place to live.

On a Sunday we decamp to Ma G’s for dinner, on the way back we drive through the outskirts of the suburbs and get to look at all the nice houses that look like they have been designed in The Sims. Full of columns and big windows with a painted down drive way, it gets me wishing that I could have a plot of land a large amount of money to create my own maison for the family.

I am no Courboisier, nor am I Sir Foster. My dalliance with self designed architecture is restricted to Lego (and the usual cube shaped abode) or the sprawling mass of giant and empty rooms you get on The Sims. I can’t imagine I would create anything truly outstanding in the field of design, and the host of Grand Designs would look forlornly on my homage to Christopher Wren. It would almost certainly look like something a footballer had drawn on a napkin.

So let me try and talk you through these plans. I’ve decided to go for the very restrained rectangular shape, this will be governed by the golden ratio for aesthetics and the shape of the screen making it easy to do so (fact: most building shapes are based upon the piece of paper available, this is why most are box shape and very few are round).

Continue reading “My own dream house”

Ungiving to charity

In which I am a rebel without a cause to support.

Being charitable doesn’t come naturally, I get riled up every time I step onto Birmingham’s main street and prepare myself to run the gamut of chuggers waiting to accost the unaware shoppers. It’s like the Pamplona bull run but running at the herd instead of away from the clipboarding hoard.

If I was to be in a position where I didn’t have to work and I could turn myself into a much less rich Bill and Melinda Gates I’m not sure who I could help. As well as dealing with the workers of Charity Militant I also struggle with who I should choose to help.

It’s very mean of charities to ask you to decide between who is the most worthwhile cause. Pick between this sad child and this sad puppy, our cancer is worse than their cancer, which human rights abuse angers you most.

I have finite resources to be able to help those in need, I am not rich enough to donate to all and there is not enough time to lend a hand.

Continue reading “Ungiving to charity”