Being a geek

In which I am comfortable with my nerdom.

I accept that I am a geek, heck my blog name declares it to be so. What I don’t understand is why many others can’t. My family and most of my friends make it sound like I should be ashamed of my social grouping. But I am not. Thankfully I have some awesome friends who do accept me for what I am.

I know fellow geeks (and nerds) who are made to feel that the fact they have obsessions that are not reported in the gossip columns or on trashy TV they are somehow lesser. I know the sons of Feanor, how is this different from knowing the names of the children of a z-list celebrity? I read fantasy novels, they read about their fantasy Mr Right.

Being a geek is only a matter of taste. There are computer, sci fi, gaming, movie, music, and sports geeks. Geeks tend to only spend time with others of a similar mindset. Just because they don’t ‘go out’ doesn’t mean they aren’t as social.

Continue reading “Being a geek”

My boring life

In which the boring can be interesting.

If you believed the news then the world is full of change and we are all on the cusp of some crisis affecting the status quo of our lives. In reality I got up this morning, went to work, sat through a load of meetings, and caught the train to go home.Tonight I will face the hardest choice of the day when I have to decide where I will order a take away from.

I am one of 7 billion people on this planet, and if the news affects a million different people a day then it will have an impact on me once every 19 years. This is the reality of real life, for most of us for most of the time it is mundane. As a result we have an existence that is hidden in the middle pages, or a segment just before that quirky animal at the end of the hour. We are page 27 or on at 15.53.

Continue reading “My boring life”

My own dream house

In which I design a dream place to live.

On a Sunday we decamp to Ma G’s for dinner, on the way back we drive through the outskirts of the suburbs and get to look at all the nice houses that look like they have been designed in The Sims. Full of columns and big windows with a painted down drive way, it gets me wishing that I could have a plot of land a large amount of money to create my own maison for the family.

I am no Courboisier, nor am I Sir Foster. My dalliance with self designed architecture is restricted to Lego (and the usual cube shaped abode) or the sprawling mass of giant and empty rooms you get on The Sims. I can’t imagine I would create anything truly outstanding in the field of design, and the host of Grand Designs would look forlornly on my homage to Christopher Wren. It would almost certainly look like something a footballer had drawn on a napkin.

So let me try and talk you through these plans. I’ve decided to go for the very restrained rectangular shape, this will be governed by the golden ratio for aesthetics and the shape of the screen making it easy to do so (fact: most building shapes are based upon the piece of paper available, this is why most are box shape and very few are round).

Continue reading “My own dream house”

Ungiving to charity

In which I am a rebel without a cause to support.

Being charitable doesn’t come naturally, I get riled up every time I step onto Birmingham’s main street and prepare myself to run the gamut of chuggers waiting to accost the unaware shoppers. It’s like the Pamplona bull run but running at the herd instead of away from the clipboarding hoard.

If I was to be in a position where I didn’t have to work and I could turn myself into a much less rich Bill and Melinda Gates I’m not sure who I could help. As well as dealing with the workers of Charity Militant I also struggle with who I should choose to help.

It’s very mean of charities to ask you to decide between who is the most worthwhile cause. Pick between this sad child and this sad puppy, our cancer is worse than their cancer, which human rights abuse angers you most.

I have finite resources to be able to help those in need, I am not rich enough to donate to all and there is not enough time to lend a hand.

Continue reading “Ungiving to charity”

You give me road rage

In which I’m racing to the best days.

When you are faced by the madness caused by crazy people you have two options, you can put up with the madness and let it slide or try to do something about it. For the most part I am of the former camp. I find it much easier to roll my eyes and be like a queen with power over ice.

I have to internalise this pent up rage on a daily basis whilst driving to work, if I didn’t it would eat me up and lead me to going a little bit Falling Down. I even have the glasses.
A poster depicting an older man standing on a concrete platform, wearing a business outfit, holding a briefcase and a shotgun. Above in black letters it reads: "Michael Douglas". Below in large white letters over a red background it reads: "Falling Down". Beneath that with the film credits, it reads in small white letters: "A Joel Schumacher Film". In the background are skyscrapers and a smog filled sky.
Still it does get to me, sitting in the car paying for the privilege of going nowhere as the dead dino-juice gases emit from the metal boxes around me. There are a number of wrongs that I would love to right.
Continue reading “You give me road rage”

Fear itself

In which there is only the heat death of the universe to worry about.

There are two great fears I have. Everyone should be scared of something big, the kind of worry that threatens to change your life if it came true or you had to face it. Before I tell you what they are consider this quote.aa

So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes. Franklin D. Roosevelt.

This quote is from one of the great leaders of the 20th century but it is a lie. It’s a great big whopping cake of a fib. There’s plenty of things to be scared of. I’m not including spiders or heights in this, they can easily dealt with by a rolled up magazine or not climbing a mountain. Plus they are perfectly understandable, spiders can be poisonous and falling from a few hundred feet is not conducive to having a good day. Yet these aren’t fears. They are worries.
Continue reading “Fear itself”

Tell me lies

In which the truth is harder than the fiction.

I’ve written from some exotic places, like the Maldives and Greece, but today I’m writing away on a tour bus of Boston.

This is the first post I’ve made about the lying and telling the truth, and also the first time I shall have a rant about something. See lying is easy, and I say that as a 6’7” tall, dark and handsome astrophysicist. Unlike my career of choice, fibbing is not rocket science…and that this is the second time I have posted this.

Lying is essential to our own survival. It’s a cover for our fears, betrayals, neuroses and selfishness. A way of pretending that we appear better than we act, a way of convincing ourselves of an alternative reality where there are rainbows, and butterflies, and everyone sings and no one ever cries except tears of joy and that happens all the time because everything is so frakking wonderful. And there are unicorns.

Like Neo’s spoon, this is all a lie.

Continue reading “Tell me lies”

Dealing with people on lunch

In which I try to maintain my dignity while being blocked by old people.

After sitting next to someone on the train who thought it socially acceptable to play a noisy version of solitaire on their phone it’s time for me to reconsider running for Supreme Ruler of the World again. This way I can take action against those that irritate me by trebucheting them off the coast of Scotland into the ocean.

It can be difficult to create a law banning stupid people, especially through our current government as it would be like turkeys voting for Christmas, so I need to add a small amendment to existing laws and see what I can get away with. Thankfully I’ve just been out to lunch and know exactly what I want to ban.

Continue reading “Dealing with people on lunch”

I don’t need any advice

In which I would advise you to not listen.

I like giving advice, because as this blog shows, I like the sound of my own voice. Let’s be honest who doesn’t? It’s a natural thing to try to rise above the general mumbling of the masses to assert our influence over others.

Due to this most advice is completely inane.

  • “Look on the bright side”
  • “Things will get better”
  • “Don’t press the big red button”

As much as we like telling others what we think, we seem to be incapable of listening to any good advice provided by others.

Continue reading “I don’t need any advice”

Putting up a political fence

In which I listen to what has been said and take it on board.

The events of the last few days have made me realise that there are many things I care about, but some I shouldn’t care about so much about. I’ve been either misguided or mistaken that my viewpoint and anger is valid if I am on the losing side, I should now shut up and put up and accept it.

I didn’t accept it, and I’ve not in the past. Even in the future I won’t privately accept it. Now things are different, I’ve found myself caring about arguing with others than my own family. I have a finite amount of energy and I no longer wish to expend it arguing on Facebook. Continue reading “Putting up a political fence”