The tyranny of choice

In which the contrast of flavours becomes too much.

Heinz, your 57 varieties are 55 too many. Coca-Cola stick with full fat and diet (and a little Zero, Vanilla, Lime…). Samsung just have a big and little version of the Galaxy smartphone (and the billion of variations). The world is complicated enough without the constant increase in choice we are offered as consumers.

The insidious idea that companies should cater to every customer whim means that there are million different SKUs in the hope that it in some way matches 100% with consumer demand. Instead we the public decide that even if a product meets 95% of our demands we get all uppity and want to know why we can’t have something more.

We have all become Verruca Salts. Continue reading “The tyranny of choice”

Why NY bagels are the best

In which I experience bread based heaven.

The Menu.

Ingredients: Bready goodness.

Preparation: Getting my coat on to go to the Bagel Emporium.

Cost: $


Let me start with a caveat, the UK do not have bagels. It may look like a bagel, but it the same way I resemble a basketball player from a distance, this is a bagel in shape only. Or as Mrs G said “they’re basically a piece of bread with a hole in it”. It is a Polo loaf.

You can buy a bag which proudly announces it’s authentically New Yorker, upon showing this to the Queens originated wife she just scoffed. She did the same thing when Grandad G thrust a bag of “New York” bagels in her face. I think the reaction he was hoping for was a happy look in her eyes as she realised that she could get a piece of home from a UK supermarket.
Continue reading “Why NY bagels are the best”

Addicted to Coke

In which I stop trying to give myself diabetes.

For ten years I was clean, I had managed to give up one of the most addictive substances known to man and all it took was a bout of diarrhoea to drag me back on the wagon. I was able to go cold turkey in the first place by measuring out in a mug how much white substance I was consuming a day, and this was all it took for me to quit the habit, or so I thought.

For nearly all my life I had been a coke addict and it was not good for me, it rots your teeth and your constantly looking for the next high, so the moment I gave it up was meant to be the start of my new life. That was until I needed the toilet in The Maldives, it was toilet paper in one hand and Coca-Cola in the other.

Continue reading “Addicted to Coke”

Thanksgiving in the UK

In which I eat way too much food and cook a lot more.

As a Brit there are very few unique holidays than can be attributed to these isles, and very few that would be known worldwide. The closest we have is Guy Fawkes Night where we celebrate the arrest and torture of a catholic who tried to blow up the protestant king by burning effigies and releasing fireworks in the freezing November rain.

This isn’t my first Thanksgiving, I had that pleasure a few years ago when I went to visit the then Future Mrs Geek Ergo Sum in New York. Not only was it my first experience of the American ‘Holiday Season’ but it was also the first time I would be meeting her family.

Now that we are both married with child and living in the UK everything seems different to her. Normally in America they would be building up to Thanksgiving whereas over here we are already getting into the Christmas spirit. I’m already thinking about a large turkey dinner but not until the end of December. The chance of having another one a month before hand has got me excited. Continue reading “Thanksgiving in the UK”

If we were having c̶o̶f̶f̶e̶e̶ tea now

In which I stick the kettle on.

If we were having coffee now then we would almost certainly be in a place where it was cheap and most likely awful. The reason I would be having coffee would be that, even though it was terrible, the likelihood is that the tea would be even worse. If there is one thing more horrific to an Englishman than bad coffee it is bad tea.

If we were having coffee now you would sit there with you fancyacappmahino and I would be trying to drink down a coffee hinted pint of milk with as much sugar and chocolate powder as possible. I don’t know why I think this is any better because I hate both sugary milk and chocolate milkshakes, so rather than have bad coffee-house tea I would rather drink a combination of three that I don’t like. That is how awful the tea is.

Continue reading “If we were having c̶o̶f̶f̶e̶e̶ tea now”

These are a few of my favourite foods

In which the only thing better than bacon is more bacon.

I am a man of simple tastes. I know what I like to eat and what I don’t. In simple terms I won’t generally eat food that are:

  • Grown in the ground (vegetables)
  • Offal
  • Based upon mouldiness (mushrooms and cheese)

If I was biologically able I would be a full-blown carnivore. Apparently though the human species is meant to be omnivorous, and can even survive being a herbivore. I think of it this way, if we were not meant to eat bacon (or steak, lamb chops, roast chicken, etc) then why does it taste so good? Nature has developed a way of preventing us from eating food that is bad for us. It makes it taste nasty; like poisonous berries or sprouts.

Continue reading “These are a few of my favourite foods”

Lunchtime review : Vitamin pills

In which I hit my RDA but it tastes terrible.

The Menu.

Ingredients: Bits of rocks.

Preparation: Close eyes and swallow.

Cost: A complete waste.


Politicians are at it again, this time they are claiming that we eat too much meat. I made a pact with vegetarians that they can have my greens and in return I will eat the cooked flesh of animals. It’s the circle of life and all that malarkey.

As a humanist I believe that evolution has led me to eschew the eating of plants and resulted in humans filling a new niche, primarily that of eating barbecue. I’ve never seen a slug eat a burger but they seem pretty fond of lettuce, to me that says there is less competition for beef so is a better natural selection.

The only issue with this is that science seems to still believe that I need nutrients like vitamins and minerals. This is a bit awkward as meat only has Vitamin Mmmmmm. What if there was a magic pill that I could eat to stop others from worrying about my nutritional intake?
Continue reading “Lunchtime review : Vitamin pills”

New York menu

In which I eat a proper bagel.

I’m looking out of a strange window as we are now in New York (after a long second leg where The Felciraptor forgot to sleep and ended up completely crazy). I’m still pretty jet lagged so again I will keep it short.

Other than caffeine the only thing keeping me going is the food. I love the town Nana G is living in because the food is amazing, and (just like this morning) it begins with the bagel.
New York bagel with salmon salad spread
Continue reading “New York menu”

Ideas for bacon recipes

In which I prove that the best thing about bacon is that it makes all foods better.

There is no proper food that bacon cannot make better. Try it, Bacon & Sausage, Bacon & Steak, Bacon & Chicken, Bacon & Bacon. All works, all made better by the introduction of more bacon. Regular readers will know that for me bacon is an important part of my diet and what I consider a “freebie” (in the same way others consider celery or lettuce of no calorific value).

I will start with an important clarification, mostly what I am talking about here is what I call ‘proper bacon’. This is the kind that has more that 10% meat on and isn’t just fat. Not saying there is any thing wrong with that ‘bacon’ but it’s not ‘proper bacon’.

Bacon comparison between back and streaky bacon

To show you how versatile bacon is I have a few handy bacon recipes.
Continue reading “Ideas for bacon recipes”

Steak at the end of the world

In which the real end of the world will come if it is well done.

The drive home from work is full of motorways and dual carriageways, and this has the advantage of making it a pretty straight (if not always quick) route home. The disadvantage is that it makes for a very dull journey so to break up the motoring monotony I’ll take some of the back roads home. It was while doing this I found a Farm Shop.

A few pounds later and I’m leaving with some bacon and going back later for steak. I can’t wait for tomorrow because my lunch is going to mostly consist of this:

Uncooked Steak on a plate

Yes that it is a T-Bone, and that is a dinner plate. If tomorrow is the end of the world then I am going to be going out with a bellyful of beef.

Continue reading “Steak at the end of the world”