There is a great video from the UK Cat Protection league on stroking your pet’s belly. Apparently they don’t like it up ’em.
The result is that even if your (apologies for the upcoming sentence, I am British so have a in depth education in entendre) pussy looks like it needs a stoke you should try to resist the urge to give it a little tickle lest something untoward happen.
The reality is that unless the cat is explicitly asking you for something then they don’t want you to do anything. Unless of course it’s the opposite, because cat’s are the most contrary animals in existence.
The danger of this video being released on YouTube is that all the cats on the internet will now want to have their tummies tickled because it’s the opposite of what you will now think. Cat’s are waging a long psychological battle against their human minions which isn’t about supremacy but the complete breakdown of human logic.
They want us to be constantly unsure of ourselves, it’s the ultimate in reverse psychology. You know when a cat looks at you and sees you as an equal…of course not. It never happens, in a cat’s brain we are below hairballs. When a cat coughs up a ball of fur it’s because they are looking to improve their social situation.
This is a cat’s order of preference for company:
- Other cat’s
- Litter Tray
- Something to scratch
- Throwing up in the middle of the room
Mrs G claims I’m a cat whisperer because they seem to like me, and I them (despite their hidden agendas). I’d like to believe this is because I understand where I stand with cat’s. I realise that they see me as inferior and I’m happy to acknowledge that. I don’t stroke a cat, I merely offer my hand in a subservient manner in readiness to stroke and wait for them to come to me.
I never lift them to my lap, I just offer up its warmth. I am no more than a warm cushion for them to lie on, the only reason I’m preferred over the laptop keyboard is because I’m softer.
Don’t think I’m not a cat person, I do love them and encourage Mrs G to bring her two over from New York. She was worried that either of us wouldn’t get on, but I like both Bella (passive-aggressive) and Olivia (Stupid).
She was curious to know why they took to me so well. It was easy, the first thing I did when I met them was to open a tin of cat food for them. They don’t see me as a lowly human, they see me as a tin opener.