Ingredients: Pure savoury heaven (or hell)
Preparation: Knife into jar and spread
Cost: £2.00 for a big jar
I’m going to put my position out there straight away. I love it. I understand that how you feel towards Marmite clouds many people’s judgement. For some just being able to smell it without retching is a sign that you are in league with the anti-Christ.
So when Marmite released their new advert I thought it was hilarious, I’ve know plenty who have semi-abandoned jars in their cupboards, I recently rediscovered the one I had just this weekend, but the ad seems to have created a tiny bit of controversy and I’m not sure who is to blame.
For the uninitiated Marmite is a thick black goo made from yeast extract and takes like everything savoury all combined. It’s perfect on toast but as it has the consistency of bitumen it is for all intents impossible to spread. Inevitably you are going to tear the middle out of the slice of bread you are using or end with small clumps of the spread like its a map of the Greek Islands.
It is as hardy as cocockroaches, if anything of humanity survives the nuclear apocalypse it will be Marmite. I have a theory that the Brea tar pits in LA are just a jar the dinosaurs had that they accidentally tipped over and over the next million years it slowly, ever so slowly, flowed out of the jar. All the remains are of dinosaurs and mammoths that loved it a little too much.
You either love it, or hate it. Being indifferent to Marmite is not acceptable, it is the world’s only duality food and you cannot take a middle position on it. Whereas I can tolerate eating a few pieces of plant or a sip or two of coffee a non-lover never goes “let’s just have a little bit of Marmite”.
This leads to a lot of abandoned jars, as the uninitiated go out and buy one. This is the point the ad is making but it has fallen foul of those who feel it is mocking the work of animal rescue charities.
Admittedly I thought it was very close, it is almost note perfect to some of the animal rescue programmes on TV, but I also laughed my head off. This scene when they discovered a baby jar was hilarious, especially the reactions of the Rescue Team. I loved the advert.
There were haters, 250 have already complained to the Adveritisng Standards Agency, and I’m not sure if I’m a bad person or not. By enjoying it am I a dead and cold person inside that cares not for the welfare of animals? My first reaction was that this was just the easily offended taking umbridge at fun, the kind of person who gets offended at Christmas on behalf of the religious groups who don’t really mind it.
“Tasteless and boring, just like marmite” was one comment, which is immediately void because it may be many things but Marmite is never tasteless.
This post is not sponsored in anyway, but if anyone from Marmite reads this I won’t say no to a jar of the Extra Old or the Pedigree. In the meantime I’ll live with just having the crisps.