It seems like ages since I was last in New York, but it hasn’t been. It is just that I have a terrible visual memory.
I seem to live very much in the present, I don’t really consider the future that much and my past recall is not very vivid. One of my most common refrains at work is “I’ve slept since I did that”, it is like when I go to bed I do a format on my brain which deletes all the thoughts collected that day.
My factual memory is fantastic, I was doing a quiz with Mrs G last night on famous ships and was able to remember the name of most of them. One of which was the Great Eastern that we both saw last year in Bristol, I can remember all the facts about that trip but I don’t remember being there.
It is the same with The Feliciraptor, I’m constantly told how you won’t believe how quick she’ll grow. Yet I don’t have a mental picture of when she wasn’t like she is now. Today she makes animal noises and loves steak, that’s how she has always been surely? Those days where we were up in the night to feed her, or teaching her to walk, or taking her on a plane to New York are hazy. I can see that it happened as I have the images and videos and this what I have to rely on.
It helps remove the stressful memories from my brain, and it probably ties back in with how I deal with stress and anxiety. If I live in the now then if it is bad it will soon be gone. If I hold on to those feelings and memories then it will get me down. The only problem is that as a side effect I also have to lose the good times.
I feel like I should be sad about this, but it helps me to remember was is important and that is what is happening in my life now.