The office thermostat has currently been set to Fuerteventura, or the winter air-con settings have been turned on at work. I think this is an acclimatization exercise so it doesn’t feel so warm when I get outside in the sub-30c heat. The other option we seem to have is artic, so I have to pack warmer clothes and a pair of mittens to be able to use my computer.
At the moment though it is too hot, it is either due to the multitude of screens I now have (and would like to keep), the wall that is painted the same colour as the sun or the fact I have to dress in long trousers whilst the fairer sex flounce around in flimsy materials. The worst part about this is that, just like all office scenarios, they complain it is too cold and want the heating turned up. Do they not know that us men are warm blooded? We are too hot when skinny dipping in the methane pools on Titan?
I once got in trouble with my manager from the unnamed opticians for wearing the same type of clothes on a dress down day as most of the females did on a normal business day, apparently men do not get a summer dress code. Why did my uncovered toes suddenly become a health and safety issue when others stumble around on a daily basis in heels? I do wash them.
I would happily wear a skirt and strappy top if I could be cool for the 8 hours I am at my desk, and wonder if this would be less frowned upon? Could I argue that youths stole the bottom halves of my trousers?
Is there a concern that somebody would inevitably come in wearing white socks and leather sandals? I understand if this is the case, this has been known to topple many a company before.
All I ask is that my legs can breathe, and hopefully get some colour during the summer. The British weather is so designed that it will only shine Monday to Friday and then rain at the weekends, my lower appendages have been deprived of vitamin D for years.
Men across the world, stand up for your rights to be able to dress as equally skimpy as the women. There should be a sensible summer dress code that allows us to be comfortable.
Free the legs and end this trouser tyranny!