When I started this blog, and the one that came before it, it was because I was looking for inspiration, although I still don’t know what I want to be inspired to do. Initially I started writing these posts for two main reasons:
- To vent some of the pressure and anger I was feeling,
- Something to do
My previous attempt to start a blog seemed to sway more to 1 than 2 and became more of a chore than enjoyment, and I don’t enjoy chores (seriously – I need to really do some vacuuming at home). Most of us will only have 36 million minutes on this planet so even to waste 60 of them each night not having fun seems a bit of a waste. It also seems to be a bit foolish to spend my time ranting to the environs of the internet rather than actually trying to resolve the problems in reality.
Yet, I still want to do this.
I want to expand what I write about and was feeling that I was trying to constrain myself to angry whining, although a few of the posts here hark back to previous musings I feel a bit freer to do different things even if I am yet to accomplish them. I’ve always wanted to keep a journal or diary, but neither had the will or method (yeah, I know WHSmiths’ sells diaries) to do so; and where better to put your thoughts and hideous neuroses as well but on the wide open expanses of the great shouting plains of the internet. This is also a vanity project; in the grand scheme of things I know this blog is not important. 13.7bn years of the universe have not led to this being the pinnacle of existence, nor is it likely to move others to great things.
I live to think that I am following Lord Reith’s mandate for the BBC; to educate, inform and entertain, and if I struggle to meet the first two aims I hope at least I meet the latter. It’s hard to gauge where my writing sits in the great pantheon of blogging because I write for myself first and then for the audience who may read it afterwards. This is why I could not setup business in the service sector, I put self-interest in ahead of the customer. I hope in the least I am interesting.
In the beginning the posts that seemed to garner more attention (amongst non-people I know) were either the “oh I’m sooooo depressed” or “LOL geeky” ones, and although I am not writing for attention (although some may argue that) it is nice to get feedback and comments. It is also worthwhile to think that there are people who are reading what you are writing, and that provides a source of inspiration to continue.
Has writing over 500 posts helped me to meet my goals? I certainly feel less angry, and it was a great source of therapy in a pretty miserable time, and the tone of the writing has certainly changed (seriously look at some of the posts under Rants…they are angry!). It’s also given me something to do, whether as an outlet for being creative or by the constant reorganising of my blog. It’s kept me out of trouble and gives me something to do on the train.
In the future what goals should I aim for, should I look to become an authority on a subject (as any “Make a Million on WordPress” book says I should) or just continue putting my thoughts online? Should I just write for pleasure, or write to inspire? I’m not sure I know the answers to these questions just yet.