The English summer

In which rain and shine co-exist on any given day.

Ice cream on the beach

Queues and the weather, this is the enduring myth that this is all the English talk about. Of course this is utter nonsense, we very rarely talk about queues. We just stand in line silently seething when we see anyone unable to follow queuing etiquette and once in a while grumble that the other line is moving ever so slightly faster.

When it comes to weather it is a different story. We are obsessed. Is it going to rain, it looks like rain, they said it was going to rain. Summer is prefaced with weeks complaining its too cold and as soon as the mercury starts to rise it is met with a chorus of its to hot.

This week summer has finally arrived on these shores which means men walk around with no shirts on and we all try to find a beer garden to decamp to. The most important part is that we all must grouch about it being too warm to do anything.

Being confronted by this nationwide vitriol to the increased heat Mrs G made a fatal error, as a foreigner she mentioned that this isn’t hot you should try New York in the summertime.

Oh calamity, she made the mistake of trying to tell the English about weather. Not even I could defend her scandalous slur on my nation’s obsession with climate. I was one of the first to attack and defend the meteorological culture of these isles.

“Well it’s relative isn’t it, you say oh this ain’t hot because New York is sweltering but it is hot for what we are used to in this rainy and grey country. Most of us are being blinded because of this new yellow ball of light in the sky that has appeared and turned all the clouds blue.”

“It is hotter thought, and humid”

“Well if you we’re from Dubai you’d be telling all the New Yorkers to shut it, we aren’t used to this so we get to complain”

And complain we do.

Within minutes of the temperature passing 25c my Facebook wall was hit by a wave of heat related complaints, many of which were from the same people who a few months ago were praying for the onset of summer by posting pictures of the snow. As a nation we are totally unprepared for the summer, the house is currently too hot because of the thick walls and furniture that is more suited to the cold than the warm. The only way we can deal with it is to complain.

Only for a short while, peak moaning is at the beginning of the summer. After those first few days it is just too hot to complain.

Source: Sky

Author: Daddysaurus

Ah, so you worked out the riddle. You just needed to use dwarfish and the doors to Geek Ergo Sum opened. Or perhaps you just used Google. Either way you are here, on my little corner of the Internet.

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