Lunchtime Review : Stromboli

In which I roll up bread and meat and cheese and create food heaven.

Stromboli on a chopping board

The Menu.

Ingredients: Bread and Meat

Preparation: Roll it up and bake it

Cost:Several pigs

Amuse-bouche

I love my traditional English Easter dinner, other than Christmas it is a chance to have a large family dinner with a pile of food. A great part about being married to an American-Italian-German is that food is an important part of Easter.

When we have partaken in dinner in NY I have been sent on epic quests just to locate a piece of meat. If I’d asked someone back home in England to drive 30 miles just to purchase a piece of meat they would call me crazy…however that meat, it tasted good. I mean real good. Even when my body started screaming at me that I’d eaten more pork than I should, I still needed to keep eating.

It wasn’t like I went into dinner on an empty stomach, beforehand I’d eaten some slices of Stromboli. If you’re sitting there with no idea what this is, as I didn’t before meeting my wife, it is possibly classified as humanity’s greatest gastronomical invention (along with garlic bread or pigs in blankets).

Entrée

I imagine conversations around Stromboli’s creation happened something like this:

Frank: John, I love Swiss rolls.
John: They taste so good don’t they?
Frank: I love sponge with jelly rolled in, that’s a brilliant idea.
John: Oh, what about those chocolate ones with cream inside.
Frank: Then with chocolate coating?
John: Yeah…
Frank: Know what would be better than jelly or cream?
John: Could anything be better?
Frank: Meat!
John. Exactly! What Swiss Rolls need is more meat, that would make it so awesome.
Frank: We should do this, right away.

 

Thus Stromboli came into being, because a couple of guys realised that sticking cold meats into a rolled up piece of bread, then baking it, would be a clear indication of mankind’s difference from animals. No otter, chimp or bird could think of creating such a brilliant piece of cookery.

Pudding

Is there anything we could do to make Stromboli even better, I realise that this is like trying to paint a larger smile on Mona Lisa’s face, is to do something about eating so much bread. It is quite filling. Perhaps replace it with sausage meat?

Then, just like a chocolate covered treat, what you’d need is little extra ingredient to keep it bound together. What could that be, is there a food item that could make “amazing” awesome?

Of course there is.

Bacon.

 

Source: Grain

Author: Daddysaurus

Ah, so you worked out the riddle. You just needed to use dwarfish and the doors to Geek Ergo Sum opened. Or perhaps you just used Google. Either way you are here, on my little corner of the Internet.

4 thoughts on “Lunchtime Review : Stromboli”

  1. I should know this dish, but did not. I asked Mr. Swiss if he knew what Stromboli was and he replied “a river in Italy” so even the Swiss don’t know the advantages of this tasty dish. I once visited a factory in London when I was a school where they made the Swiss rolls (think it way Lyons). Did you know they rolled them by hand at that time – yes, I never ate one since.

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  2. Having read your post a few times, I feel stupid for not noticing any three letter words-for surely, it is impossible to write without any three letter words? Congratulations on not only that, but for writing an entertaining post as well.

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