Conversation at work recently touched on weddings, a subject that still fills me with fear. Not over the fact I did it, or the day itself, but the panics that were totally unnecessary in the run up to the big day.
I had to deal with a wedding booking situation that was so highly stressful that I was ready to call the whole shebang off. The worst thing about it all? There was no need for it.
As the then Future Mrs GeekErgoSum had yet to see the location for the wedding in August I decided to ring the reception venue we have booked to ask if we can go and have a look around when she came over to visit. Now this should have been a routine wedding booking call but turned into a test of my nerves. Below is, as far as I remember, the conversation I had (with added notes). Names and places have been changed to protect the guilty.
A little wedding booking play
Him: Thank you for calling Here, my name’s Him how can we help?
Me: Ah yes good sir, you may assist me in solving my preexisting dilemma I havest. (This is how Shakespeare mayest have put it – we are going where he put on some of the “plays what he wrote”).
Me: I’d like to arrange to come with my fiancé to look at the venue we’ve booked.
Him: Why certainly, can I take your name with which you made the wedding booking?
Me: Of course, it’s GeekErgoSum (obviously I didn’t say this, I think only 5 people read this blog and I seriously doubt the booking manager of a wedding venue is one).
Him: And what date?
Me: August 18th.
*There is now a little pause*
Him: Is that 2013 (bonus point, he is obviously not expecting the world to end this year if they are taking bookings for next year).
Me: No 2012 (and to reiterate, the world is not going to end this year).
Him: I’m sorry but we already seem to have a booking for that day.
Now at this point I am starting to panic, one of those booking should be mine. I remembered that another couple were after the same date but were having to wait to see if I was going to have it. What if somehow they had managed to usurp me like an…unsurpy thing? How would I break the news? Could we still get in at the zoo as a backup plan?
Me: Err…is that not my wedding booking?
Him: Well when did you book this?
Me: A few weeks ago, I came in and spoke to your and we booked it.
Him: Who did you speak to?
Me: (Recognising the name of the person) You!
*Another pause including the familiar sound of a phone being put on mute…after working in a call centre I know a phone on mute is never good*
I’m now rapidly Googling ‘grief counselling’ as I prepare to explain how the place we really wanted is no longer there. I have skipped straight to stage 4.
Him: Can I just ask what your name is again?
Him: Oh yeah, sorry about that, it is your wedding booking we’ve got on the 18th, don’t know how I missed that! What can I do for you?
*Thunk* as my head is gravitationally drawn towards my desk.
Still…it was a nice wedding in the end.
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