50 ways you know you’re a Geek

In which I open a window of the world of the geek.

Sheldon folding a t shirt

Ambling around the internet I came upon a very interesting pseudo-infographic from a company trying to get some cheap PR and SEO by talking about a random subject thinly connected to their business.

It claims to be able to separate the “real geeks” from the “nerd chics” by listing the 50 things a geek should know, ranging from facts about sci-fi to programming tidbits. So to measure my geek credentials I’m going to take the test and see what I end up with. It is an interesting little window into the house of geekdom.

Feel free to play along (although I will be answering some of the questions so don’t cheat).

50 Things a Geek Should Know

  1. Know the difference between an AT-AT and AT-ST – Yep I do
  2. Know how many Stargates are on Earth – Nope, but I think my sister would
  3. Know how to give the Vulcan “Live long and Prosper” hand sign – I am an  ambidextrous Vulcan, I can do it with both hands.
  4. Know what word the “Knights who say Ni” can’t stand – Got IT! Also the 5-a-side team I played for at school was called KWSN.
  5. Know the names of all thirteen actors who have played Doctor Who – I could also do it in order, plus the fact Peter Cushing also played the role in two movies (and also add in Rowan Atkinson, Jim Broadbent, Richard E. Grant and Joanna Lumley).
  6. Know why May 4th is a religious holiday
  7. Know the answer to the “Ultimate question of life, the universe and everything”. – Surely this should be question 42?
  8. Know the names of the three main NERV pilots from Neon Genesis Evangelion – Not a clue
  9. Know where Mulder considers the truth to be – well it’s not in here.
  10. Know why people should try “turning it off and on again” before they call the IT department  – you should also leave it off for at least 10 seconds.
  11. Know how to use Linux – I do but still prefer Windows, does this lose me a point?
  12. Know where your local Hackerspace is – Erm, Birmingham?
  13. Know how to build a BTC mining rig – I had to Google BTC so no.
  14. Know how to hide files inside a Jpeg file – You can do this? Cool.
  15. Know who is the patron saint of computers – Saint Bill or Saint Steve?
  16. Know the paperclip PSU trick – Does it make something disappear?
  17. Know how to boot from a USB – Finally something I know again.
  18. Know how to flash a GFX card’s BIOS – Take it out the computer and open your dressing gown?
  19. Know how to build and program a fighting robot – anyone who does this is only taking up one step closer to Judgement day.
  20. Know how to Jailbreak an iPhone – Real geeks use Android.
  21. Know the difference between Warcraft and Warhammer – I do even though I have never played either.
  22. Know who Alan Moore’s god is – Nope
  23. Know the name Superman gave to his fortress – Yep
  24. Know in which city the world’s largest Comic Con is held – Bonus point if you’ve been to it? Well I haven’t
  25. Know how to construct a Perfect Grade Bandai model kit – never owned one so no.
  26. Know the Bene Gesserit’s Litany against Fear – another trip to Google
  27. Know at least 5 phrases in Klingon – jISovbe’
  28. Know that Han shot First – everyone knows that right?
  29. Know the one ring to rule them all quote – I know it in the dark tongue of Mordor (than unlike Imladris can be spoken here).
  30. Know that Franklin Richards controls the Marvel Universe – Don’t be silly, it’s Mickey Mouse.
  31. Know how to do a barrel roll – go ahead, Google it.
  32. Know how to create a basic website using only notepad – Just about
  33. Know how to spend a bitcoin – on drugs and other illegal stuff yeah?
  34. Know how to read 1337 5p34k at normal reading speed – Y35
  35. Know how to use a proxy server to stay anonymous – and watch Hulu in the UK
  36. Know how to find a geocache – yes, but it seems like hard work.
  37. Know which “chan” /imageboard/ to visit – because if you don’t it can be very scary
  38. Know how to play snake on YouTube – you can, right I’m off there then
  39. Know about the “Eternal War” – Yes, and it’s very cool (link)
  40. Know what “There’s no place like” means – it’s where the heart is
  41. Know how to mine obsidian in Minecraft – not with your fists
  42. Know how to setup a LAN party – no, because I hate multiplayer gaming
  43. Know what LARP stands for – and it’s not perpetual virginity
  44. Know how to survive Winter in Dwarf Fortress – No, but I know of the game and how stupid-hard it is
  45. Know how many quests you need to complete in World of Warcraft to become a Loremaster – see 21.
  46. Know what you need to build the longest road in Settlers of Catan – planning permission and a good governmental lobbying department?
  47. Know how to solve a Rubik’s cube – lots of luck and time
  48. Know how to make it through the classic D&D “Tomb of Horrors” – Never D’d&D’d.
  49. Know which continent to aim for first in Risk – France
  50. Know the power of the Black Lotus Magic: The Gathering card.– is it the Power of Hallmark?

So in total I’ve got 26 out of 50, just over half which means I “need to get back to BASIC”. So thanks to Virtual Hosting who have cleared up once and for all – I’m not a Geek (and will therefore have to rename this site).

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “The Satisfaction of a List.”

Who doesn’t love a list? So write one! Top five slices of pizza in your town, ten reasons disco will never die, the three secrets to happiness — go silly or go deep, just go list-y.

Author: geekergosum

Ah, so you worked out the riddle. You just needed to use dwarfish and the doors to Geek Ergo Sum opened. Or perhaps you just used Google. Either way you are here, on my little corner of the Internet.

6 thoughts on “50 ways you know you’re a Geek”

    1. Cool…I read through and it goes to show that labelling someone as a geek or nerd and expecting them to know everything is kind of insane. It’s like being a scientist but only knowing about mitochondria and not string theory and having your Phd called into question.


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