I’m a picky eater

In which there is not much food I’d object to if it was covered in bacon.

Thanksgiving dinner on a table

Considering I don’t like cheese, mushroom, onions, liver, green vegetables, other coloured vegetables and most fruit; I don’t consider that I am a picky eater.

It’s not that I don’t have an aversion to certain food groups (mainly those that don’t walk around the fields before they get to my plate), but more that I am not the kind of person who would kick up a stink because someone had left a tiny bit of skin on a chicken breast or a tiny sliver of fat on the bacon.

I have got used to having to move those pieces of food I find offensive to one side of the plate, it’s not that hard to shift a slice of mushroom from within a lasagna. If it’s on the plate it’s not in my stomach, the same as if it had remained in the store. Net result is no fungi in my mouth.

The texture is the problem, mushrooms are too spongy, cheese to soft or hard, and vegetables too planty. If the consistency is changed then we have some room for negotiation. After all I will eat cooked cheese, as long as it’s not the the basis of the dish.

Grilled cheese on toast with ketchup = No

Cheese on top of a pizza = Yes (and I do know there is no real difference between the two)

I’m more than willing to give something new a go (as long as it doesn’t contain any elements of any of the previously blacklisted items) but recently this has left me hunched over a porcelain bowl rather than gourmet heaven. Who knew I would be so unsuitable for kangaroo?

As with any set of rules there are exceptions, for example if the evil ingredients are so finely chopped up that I can no longer visually see them then this is fine. Even better if I am not told that they are not there in the first place, yes mushing sprouts into potato still works at my age.

The other exception is when eating out somewhere nice, often the dishes will be created so all the ingredients work together. It just seems rude to ask the chef to take out something crucial to the success of his dish. If I don’t like it then it is my issue as a picky eater and not their fault.

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Source: Object

Author: geekergosum

Ah, so you worked out the riddle. You just needed to use dwarfish and the doors to Geek Ergo Sum opened. Or perhaps you just used Google. Either way you are here, on my little corner of the Internet.

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