Tired and wanting to sleep

In which I would like 25 hours sleep a day.

Bed in the spare bedroom

I ache

My shoulders are screaming with tightness and longing for a good nights sleep. It has been a while since my eyes stopped crying at my brain and my legs have become unionised and gone on strike, they have become a way to stop the torso from falling over and no longer provide any more service than that. I’m feeling really quite tired.

I’m not a clinical diagnostician (I thought diagnostician was a friend of Porthos, Aramis and the other one) but I’m pretty sure it’s not from over exertion. I would remember doing a triathlon, it’s from the classic lack of sleep. More galling it is nobody’s fault I can’t sleep well. How can I blame someone if there is no sleep thief?

I am definitely not a morning person.

I come from a long line of not morning people.  My inability to deal with getting up is genetic so it is in my nature to greet the alarm and morning sun with a hiss as though the night has turned me into a vampire. Getting up and out of bed requires a herculean effort that saps all the energy the rest is meant to have provided.

Not that I really have rested, more turned off. Sleep is meant to be a way to recover from and process the previous days events. It is a way to recharge, but I’m not plugged into any wall socket. I’m the phone on 14% battery that is switched off at night and then turned on in the morning with the indicator light flashing away. Why is it that Android phones start having a fit at 14%? Is there something special about this limit, or was 15% deemed too much power?

Ahhh 7% now, quickly turn off Wi-Fi. Humans don’t have wi-fi though, so instead I’ll turn off 20-20 vision. I have an astigmatism, or stigmata whichever is the one that won’t get me investigated by the Pope, and when I get tired I get double of everything. So while feeling exhausted I have to work extra hard to focus.

When I sleep it is as though my  brain has been switched off as I don’t remember anything between the moment I power off and when I reboot. If I dream they are only the snippets of lucid thought in the minutes before the hated alarm sounds. There is a total lack of recall to anything experienced while remming away in the small hours. Perchance to dream? To be tired or not to be tired?

Why is it that when you are tired, and both your brain and body agree, that sleep becomes more elusive? Stand up I’m tired, sit down I’m tired, cook dinner, wash up, all the time I’m tired. Lie in bed? Boom, wide awake. Forgot caffeine the easiest way to wake up is to have a double shot of pillow. A shot I want to take so badly right now.

This being the internet there is only one way I can really describe how I feel, forget interpretative dance I shall demonstrate through the medium of Cat Videos:


Author: geekergosum

Ah, so you worked out the riddle. You just needed to use dwarfish and the doors to Geek Ergo Sum opened. Or perhaps you just used Google. Either way you are here, on my little corner of the Internet.

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