Don’t tell anyone, but I have a secret superpower. Similar to previous revelations that I sit listening to other conversations I can also appear and disappear at will. I am a modern day Mr Mistoffelees.
You may scoff at such nonsense and suggest that I am only telling you this to be able to wrangle a few hundred words out of a writing prompt, and you would be wrong. You see I was there when you scoffed. Did you notice me?
There you go. Incontrovertible proof of my invisibility. Except for those of you who didn’t scoff, but then I was watching you as well. It’s that I’m just unable to write individual posts for each of the six people who read this so just apply the scoff/no-scoff part as applicable.
I’m not omnipresent, I just have a Google Analytics account that tracks where you are when you read this. So I popped over. Not that I’m stalking you, more using the insidious technology that allows corporations and governments to find you and extract information that I find relevant. A bit like a horoscope I can make some general statements and let you apply it to yourself in the hope it provides validation of your life choices.
This is what I use my superpower for, I check in on people. I have a naughty and nice list that I keep in a Google Docs file. I share it with Santa who cross-references it against your Facebook activity. Did you know that every single “Like to stop kitten flinging” or “OMG LOL at tis Video of a Dog riding a bike” is really the machinations of the Kringle-Industrial complex collecting your private data?
I also do work for the Stairs and Floorboard industry. That mysterious creak at night, that’s me. I’m the person who locks the door when you forget, so when you remember and go check and find it locked you curse yourself for getting out of bed. I also turn off the gas when you go on holiday..
I’m there when you don’t want me, and gone when you do. So mostly I’m around
You have a secret superpower: the ability to appear and disappear at will. When and where will you use this new superpower? Tell us a story.
Source: Now You See Me