Addicted to Coke

In which I stop trying to give myself diabetes.

Old style coca cola vending machine

For ten years I was clean, I had managed to give up one of the most addictive substances known to man and all it took was a bout of diarrhoea to drag me back on the wagon. I was able to go cold turkey in the first place by measuring out in a mug how much white substance I was consuming a day, and this was all it took for me to quit the habit, or so I thought.

For nearly all my life I had been a coke addict and it was not good for me, it rots your teeth and your constantly looking for the next high, so the moment I gave it up was meant to be the start of my new life. That was until I needed the toilet in The Maldives, it was toilet paper in one hand and Coca-Cola in the other.

If abstinence is what you do when you have so little willpower you succumb to your urges then I need a chastity belt for cola. I would consume far too much of the brown liquid for it to be healthy. In fact that’s how I knew it wasn’t good for me.

Why would you want to go for a low-fat version of ice cream, or no-alcohol beer. When you consume trash food you are doing it for the hit of salt, sugar or fats that make you feel good. That’s why my coke consumption was full-fat red label. I was on the hard stuff.

At best I reckon I was on 5 cans a day, or three bottles (which were 500ml or 18oz each). This did not seem like a lot, but in total it would be around 1.5l or 50oz. What made this bad was not the volume of liquid but the addictive white solute, the sugar.

Within that amount of cola there is 167g of sugar, pure sugar. Over the week that is a kilogram, or 2.2 pounds. Each week I was drinking a bag of sugar and over the course of a year a Katy Perry (or 130 pounds).

This shock was enough to drive me away from coke for nearly a decade, I would not even venture near a drop of the diet or low caffeine variety. If I was out of the game I was not even going to turn up to play. The only problem with this logic is when you then turn to alternative soft drinks and find that their sugar content is also high.

In the end my resistance was broken on my honeymoon, while in the middle of the Indian Ocean my stomach rebelled against me in a most violent way. Being hundreds of miles from a pharmacy the only solution was the solution that apparently helps upset stomachs. Coca-cola.

I drank all the tonic water on the first day
I drank all the tonic water on the first day

For a week I was almost on a drip feed, it was the only substance I could keep down or in. Ten years of resistance broken. Since then I have not looked back, I once again consume too much but I have changed one habit.

Back when I gave up I felt I couldn’t go to Diet Coke, but now we have the manly Coke Zero (which is practically identical but packaged more Grrr!) so I have a coke-lite to use as my fix.

This is why I don’t think about giving up on the things in my life that are bad for me, I will miss them when they are gone and eventually break and return to them.

Life is too short to not enjoy it, even if the enjoyment makes your life shorter.

Like my name on this bottle
Like my name on this bottle

Tell us about something you’ve tried to quit. Did you go cold turkey, or for gradual change? Did it stick?

Source: Happy Endings

Author: geekergosum

Ah, so you worked out the riddle. You just needed to use dwarfish and the doors to Geek Ergo Sum opened. Or perhaps you just used Google. Either way you are here, on my little corner of the Internet.

6 thoughts on “Addicted to Coke”

  1. I share your vice. In my case, during the day it is Coke Lite. (What they have to call Diet Coke in Mexico to sell it to men.) At night, it is Caffeine-free Coke Lite, which is about $2 a can here. For some reason much more than Coke or Diet Coke.

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  2. Coke Zero tastes different than Diet Coke. I used to think it had a different sweetener, but nope, same sweetener. The official website says that it has a different “flavor base”. I’m addicted to Diet Coke, but you couldn’t pay me to drink Coke Zero.

    Like you, I didn’t drink all things soda for nearly a decade, then one day I just started drinking it again… I don’t even remember why.

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    1. It has slightly different amounts of some ingredients, I don’t know if you have seen Coke Life? That has natural sweetener in (stevia leaf) and is only 60% of the calories…it’s Coke’s attempt at a half way house and it tastes terrible.

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