In-flight entertainment

In which the films got small.

Aeroplane waiting to depart

Don’t panic, I’m not using an electronic device with the wifi active on plane. I suppose I could be but that would mean I would have 300% more legroom and the ability to lie down. Does this blog look like it is being run by someone with that much money?

I’m sitting typing away because the inflight entertainment is broke, and it’s like the 1990’s all over again where you have to resort to other means to keep yourself entertained. I can’t even tell you how long it has been off as I can’t see a little plane flying over a map. I’m sitting here panicking because I have no idea what the outside temperature is, I might need a coat.

I wouldn’t mind but as we are on a British Airways flight we get the touchscreens in the seat in front to play with and I was a good deal of the way into Skyfall, and was looking forward to catching up on the movies I’ve missed because of my cinema apathy. There is even a good selection of the Oscar winners, yet not that one with Denzel Washington as a pilot. I guess that’s not really a surprise, I do wonder if there is a blacklist of movies and programmes that are banned from any airline’s inflight entertainment lest it cause a bit of concern during a patch of turbulence.

It must be the same on cruises that under no circumstances should they show Titanic or the Poseidon Adventure (especially the remake, but that’s because it’s an awful film as opposed to plot). You would think that airline’s would show these on repeat to try and besmirch the reputations of other travel. I can’t wait to see if Virgin Galactic show Apollo 13.

Anyone flying a major airline today expects the Video on Demand service, but there are still times when I’ve been on a flight and the only means of entertainment has been the drop down screens in the middle of the aisle. I remember numerous flights to the Greek and Canary Islands watching repeats of Mr Bean and Only Fools and Horses, interspersed with adverts for fragrances and duty free. We are spoilt today when we can watch what we want and when we want and have become accustomed to no thinking about what we would do when we can’t.

You normally see the panic on passenger’s faces during take-off and landing, the period when all electronic devices are off and you can either watch the safety video or you have to resort to reading the inflight magazine (around a third of it is adverts, and a further third telling you about all the great programmes you could be watching). The magazine is designed perfectly to keep you going while the plane is leaving the gate, but then you have the taxi to the runway and take off. After the inflight magazine you can then chose the Duty Free Guide, I’m not saying that airlines do this on purpose but if they didn’t they should – and I’ll take some of the commission for the idea.

The great thing about the inflight entertainment on a plane is the ability to delve into bad movies and enjoy some guilty pleasures for a couple of hours. I “could” watch Lincoln and revel in the brilliance of Daniel Day Lewis…or I could watch Expendables 2.

(Although at the moment I am having just as much fun watching the couple next to me, where the wife has for the second time this flight accidentally knocked water all over her husband’s leg).

I’ve been able to watch some truly awful movies on planes, on the return from my honeymoon I caught the final American Pie movie, and here is the problem with watching films like this…those around you can see what you are watching and if the people behind are anything like me they will spend just as much time watching the screen in front then there own. Sometimes the film will be edited for the plane viewers, and sometimes it won’t. So when watching American Pie 23: The Reunion I was quite surprised to see a pair of youthful breasts bursting out from my little 6 inch screen somewhere over the Mediterranean

BA is slightly classier than that, so we have Argo, Lincoln and Anna Karenininininina. However at the moment all I have is a blank screen where nothing is happening.

Or perhaps I’m watching Life of Pi.

Tell us about a guilty pleasure that you hate to love. Thanks for the great idea, Ana Santos!

Source: Hate to Love

Author: geekergosum

Ah, so you worked out the riddle. You just needed to use dwarfish and the doors to Geek Ergo Sum opened. Or perhaps you just used Google. Either way you are here, on my little corner of the Internet.

2 thoughts on “In-flight entertainment”

  1. Ha! This is awesome. Yes, how will you know where you are over the planet without that little map? You don’t always feel when you’re over Greenland. The first time I really took advantage of those movie-at-your-seat things was on a flight back to US from Poland, and I watched, like, four movie, including a Hindi film that my husband would normally make fun of. And actually, on that flight, I watched the first Twilight movie. It was just recently out and while I didn’t think I would like it, that flight confirmed it. And I didn’t have to waste any money or actual time on it.

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    1. The in-flight movies are great for watching those films you either didn’t want to pay to see or some random foreign language film. For the last few flights I’ve had my daughter asleep on me so I’ve been unable to grab the headphones…as a result I have watched The Grand Budapest Hotel and Maleficent as silent movies. I always get excited by the maps because you get to know when you may find something interesting out the window, flying transatlantic can be quite boring and then bam…Boston!

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