Childhood: Television

In which I tune in to my childhood television.

Stacks of old televisions

Baby G is starting to hit the age where she can be parented by the television. The combination of noise and flashing colours is enough to hold her attention whilst I am busy doing other jobs. I could provide a great education by switching on TLC but instead she can sit in front of Sky Sports.

When I was a lil’ ‘un we weren’t so lucky as to have a bajillion channels, and children’s TV was scheduled for the hour long slot after we got home from school (to give our parents enough time to cook). With the multitude of channels at our disposal we have 24 hours of kiddy programming. Most of which is tripe.

To be a child again would be great, if I could be six years old again I’d sit in front of the television and rewatch all my favourite shows. Although if it was the 1980’s again I could only do this for a few hours a day, because there was a lack of Netflix.

Fun House

Imagine a huge big playpit, that includes a go kart track and the opportunity as a kid to act like you have swallowed 50 packets of Smarties. That’s what you get with Fun House, the official start of the weekend as it was the last program to air on a Friday.

There were four stars on Fun House, Pat Sharp and the two twins and Pat Sharp’s hair. Some may argue for Billy Ray Cyrus but the greatest mullet of all time is that worn by Pat Sharp during the first few year of Fun House. Some may say it was growing up but I still believe that the moment he had a short back and sides was the moment Fun House lost its magic. Whoever the Delilah was that suggesting coiffure tips to Pat Sharp was should have been buried in a pit of coloured balls.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9hd0wvfIB4]

Knightmare

You know what’s cool? Computer games, dungeons and dragons; and kids faces peeling away like they had chosen the wrong chalice in a test for the Holy Grail.

Knightmare demonstrated the coming of the digital age, not only with its CG adventures but also in time keeping technology. The most common cause of death seemed to be the inability to tell where your nine o’clock was.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBQL4zsyKLk]

Rainbow

Giant bears, a pink effeminate hippo and someone with a gimp mask zip for a mouth; all with Rainbow motives. Then throw in a very cosy relationship with Rod, Jane and Freddy and you have a show that seems more like a My Little Queer as Folk than a beloved children’s classic.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M62SnbNizIM]

How 2

It was like a Dorling Kindsley science book made as a TV show, with any and every topic covered in a very demonstrative way. Want to explain gravity, then dress up as Isaac Newton and drop apples on people’s heads.

Like most science based shows in the 80’s this stuck to the traditional Old Guy who knows the facts and figures, Other Guy with Crazee Hair and Spunky Blond Woman To Keep The Dad’s Watching.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dx8ftqHAA3s]

Button Moon

The least amazing part of this show? The theme tune was sung by Doctor Who and Trillian from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Far too much can be said about Button Moon, that’s for a later post.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HI9rXx88YsA]

Honorary mentions:

Press Gang (from the pen of Stephen Moffat…the head writer of Doctor Who).

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZZg_-yrZHI]

The Raggy Dolls (for it’s brilliant theme tune)

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HI9rXx88YsA]

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Life’s a Candy Store.”

You get to be a 6-year-old kid again for one day and one day only — plan your perfect 24 hours. Where do you go, what do you do, and with whom?

Thanks for the fun prompt suggestion, shilarya!

Author: geekergosum

Ah, so you worked out the riddle. You just needed to use dwarfish and the doors to Geek Ergo Sum opened. Or perhaps you just used Google. Either way you are here, on my little corner of the Internet.

3 thoughts on “Childhood: Television”

  1. I used to watch Andy Pandy and Muffin the Mule, but my favourite was Bill and Ben the Flowerpot Men with Little Weed of course. Oh the delights of the english language. Globalop – Little Weeeeeed.

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