The undiscovered celebrity

In which I avoid the paparazzi by being nobody of any fame.

Group of photographers from the 1920s

Celebrities have it easy don’t they? They get to do jobs that most would love to have, and in return only get judged on their abilities and looks by the public that knows nothing about them and is comfortable with the kind of abuse that would see you in jail.

So why would you want to be a celebrity? What drives people to want their eyeballs fried by flashbulbs and the very hint of a fat cell condemned as though they are obese? Who would I be if I could have been a celebrity?

Since the days of the Gladiator we have had celebrities, those who play to the crowds and absorb the adulation. What at first seems a uniquely human trait may actually be of evolutionary benefit. Granted the Lion version of the tabloid press don’t obsess over the weight gain of Sarabi, but there are species out there where the flashiest and most able are rewarding by passing on their genes.

PHOTO-Sarabi
Shock weight gain – Sarabi spotted eating three antelope aday to get over Mufasa heartbreak

Maybe the preening of celebrities is just a form of peacock fathers, fancy dancing or huge tusks? The desire to be seen helps attract a suitable mate, how many portmanteau couples do you see with an ugly-pretty combo (for the purposes of this money counts as looks). If you would sell your soul to be a cover star surely the benefits need to be worthwhile, this Faustian pact has to give back something.

The worrying trend is that while some will become celebrities by actually doing something creative (like actors, musicians or sports stars) many try the shortcut via infamy. This is how we end up with reality TV celebs, with vacous people trying to out-vile each other to the gutter where they can collect the epithets thrown at them. They would rather the abuse than being ignored.

I say all this from the comfort of my own home, a terraced house in the midlands. I don’t live in the palatial mansions overlooking Los Angeles or get invited to red carpet parties. I don’t have to spend all my time answering inane questions from interviewers or hours in the gym. I don’t have to worry about the opinions of someone I have never met who spilling forth their bile in 140 characters or less.

Instead I am happy to be the Heisenberg celebrity, currently unobserved by the masses and as much a normal person as I may be famous. It seems less work that way.

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “From the Top.”

If you had the chance to be reborn, would you choose to return as your present self, or would opt for a fresh start? Tell us about what motivates your choice.

Thanks for the interesting prompt suggestion, Subhash Chatterji!

Author: geekergosum

Ah, so you worked out the riddle. You just needed to use dwarfish and the doors to Geek Ergo Sum opened. Or perhaps you just used Google. Either way you are here, on my little corner of the Internet.

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