Answering my (spam) commenters

In which I troll the trolls of the spa comments.

Picture of a pen next to a calculator

Over the last week I’ve had so many lovely comments (and been extremely tardy at leaving them on others sites), and I really wanted to highlight a few…but I don’t want to play favourites. Being British I have to seek to avoid personal conflict so as not to appear rude, so rather than mention one or two (which is not possible) I would have to either mention everybody like I was a verbose Oscar winner or mention nobody at all.

So I’m taking the latter, instead I want to highlight some of the amazing comments I’ve got from people I know won’t get upset…the spambots. Thankfully I have a handle on the fake comments left, but I like to review them from time to time because they can be funnier than anything I write. The following comments are all ‘real’ as in they got posted as a comment (and then, thankfully, kicked out by WordPress) but I feel it’s time to open the spam postbag and engage with non-real people.

My relatives all the time say that I am wasting my time here at web, however I know I am getting experience everyday by reading such fastidious articles.
-garcinia cambogia reviewed

I’m glad you think my articles are fastidious, however I am aiming more for punctilious. I would ask that you didn’t dig any deeper than the surface as you may find what you expect to be a meticulously discussed artice may actually end up being a slapdash effort.

So many good posts i read here, i think you can make go viral easily using one tricky method. Just search in google: Ildis’s Method To Go Viral

Thanks for this suggestion but when I did that search I found results for ‘Oil & Gas’, ‘Girl Golf’ and ‘Gerstel Office Furniture’…I’m thinking your viral techniques may not be as good as you think.

I have been browsing online morre than 2 hurs today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours. It is pretty worth enough for me…
-Silicon Wristbands

This comment carried on for another 2,187 words, TL;DR

Hello admin, i see your page needs fresh articles. If you are too lazy to write unique content everyday you should search in google for: Ightsero’s Essential Tool.

If I’m ever too lazy to write unique content I just copy a load of spam comments and reply to them.

I’ve been surfing online moe tha three hours today, yet I nefer found anyy interesting article like yours.It is pretty worth enough for me…
-Silicon Wristbands

Oh you again, maybe to reduce your internet time you could write shorter comments?

Very good content, i think you can make go viral easily using one tricky method. Just search in google: Skelap’s Method To Go Viral

Have you seen Illdis’s? Your’s seems no better.

I was wondering if you ever thought of changing the page layout of your blog? Its very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only having 1 or two pictures. Maybe you could space it out better?

The rare example of a spam comment with wisdom, I have thought about the layout because I do have a lot of text but even though you are an automated bot I checked your referring domain…it was no prettier than this site. If you are representative of the state of AI then looks like Skynet is still a long way away.

Author: geekergosum

Ah, so you worked out the riddle. You just needed to use dwarfish and the doors to Geek Ergo Sum opened. Or perhaps you just used Google. Either way you are here, on my little corner of the Internet.

19 thoughts on “Answering my (spam) commenters”

  1. Hilarious.

    Perhaps this could even be one of the alternative prompts for this assignment in a future course: “Still not inspired? Check your spam folder and see what you can find.” I’ll bookmark this post just in case, so I can give you a shout-out in the assignment prompt.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I must be doing something wrong, i don’t seem to get such entertainingly annoying spam – maybe I’ve just not thought to check… excellent twist of the prompt and it is funny how we might give advice to other bloggers that we could apply to our own blogs or vice versa 🙂


    1. Thank you…most of the NSFW spam gets deleted but the rest is an interesting combination of ‘Blogging Advice’ and random product sales. Every so often you do get the poorly written comment that the filter’s assume are spam so you get the fun game of “This person…real or not real?”

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: Geek Ergo Sum

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