I am a bit of an awful human being, I find quite dark things very funny. My sense of comedy is very black so I have a sense of humorous fascination with aspects of life that others might feel deserve more respect.
This is why I struggle with a sense of “Too Soon”, or maybe because I like pushing boundaries of what is deemed acceptable, but finding the laughter in the morbid is just a way to cope.
When I go I’ve already planned my funeral, and if my wishes are not followed then there are going to be reductions in the payouts to any beneficiaries. I don’t believe that death and tragedy should be wrapped in its morbid sheath for eternity because it gives it the power to be destructive.
The cliché is that laughter heals, and even if it doesn’t it makes things feel a little better. This is why at my funeral I don’t want tears for my passing but smiles. I want to be remembered for the person I was not the cadaver in the coffin.
So I’m going to insist on four pretty blonde young things to sit on the front row howling “It wasn’t his time”, I want the organist to play I am the Walrus and as I roll in to be cremated I’m having Elvis’s “Burning Love”.
It may sound horrendous to treat such a solemn service with a surreal (and possibly traumatising to family and friends) but it is my way of coping. I cannot grieve because it hurts too much so humour and fun is the way to make the pain go away. Yes be sad, and angry but don’t let them cloud the good times.
When you protect the sanctity of events to be off-limits to humour you give them an extra aura. Jokes that are tasteless and mean will come out and be promptly dismissed not as “Too Soon” but as crass and offensive. What needs to happen is that people are allowed to lighten the dark with funny stories or anecdotes that remove the shadow of tragedy.
This is why it can never be too soon, because it’s never too soon to start healing.
In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Retrospectively Funny.”
Tell us about a situation that was not funny at all while it was happening, but that you now laugh about whenever you remember it.
Thank you for suggesting this prompt, ivyon!