Movie clichés are amazing aren’t they? The way the same old trope comes up again and again, especially in science fiction. The indepth exploration of what it means to be human seen through the prism of artificial intelligence or a simulated reality. Of all the great clichés is the body swap, the chance to swap bodies with someone who is the polar opposite to yourself and look at the world through their eyes. I mean how different can you get from Jamie Lee Curtis (whose family sit in the House of Lords) and Lindsay Lohan?
So if I was to swap with someone, who would I choose?
I could go for the easy opt out here, and say “oh there is nobody else I would rather be than me” or go all around the houses and not make any decision. So in the interest of not doing that I’m going for a hard choice. I’m going to swap with “The Nobber”.
Yes, The Nobber. I like saying it so much I’m going to keep going on…Nobber, Nobber, Nobber. There, that’s out of my system. Oh, I suppose I should explain who The Nobber is. This will be interesting as this actually relates to real life and there may be people who read this and work out who The Nobber is.
The Nobber (by the way – this is a phrase of Professor Brian Cox’s when talking about those who believed in the Mayan Apocalypse of 2012) was the guy who when I was at my lowest point stepped away. The guy who was my best friend and I thought could be counted on was like Lilly and Marshall in HIMYM when they don’t want to hear about any problems less than an 8, even if mine was a 10 I would have to subtract 3.
When I was cracking up he was getting married and I’m not saying I should be promoted above that, but I was to be his Best Man. Then I got moved to joint Best Man (by email), and then an Usher (by email), then invited to the wedding (again by email). Each time I was told I was less and less worthy it was preceded by a visit the night before from him where he would not tell me face to face but wait until the next day to savage my self worth one more time through Gmail.
I want to swap bodies with him to know what was going on in his head while he was doing this. Was he afraid of upsetting me, or could he not face doing it to me in person? I want to know did he feel bad about doing it, does he feel guilt now? I want to know does he even care?
I want to know did he regret what happens, or does he blame me? I want to know does he still want to find out what is happening in my life?
I just want to know.
(Although I imagine calling him The Nobber isn’t exactly going to endear me to him again!)