Getting up in the morning

In which I wish life was one long snooze button.

Bed in the spare bedroom

Thanks to the Northerly latitude I live at I don’t have to get up before sunrise (which this morning was at 6:20am), that’s not to say I am not awake at that time. I can still wrap my head in a pillow while Baby G makes noises and pretend that at 6.30am I have had a lie in. Come December that will all change as our closest star won’t make an appearance until gone 8am, by which time I will already be at my desk at work.

Dawn, whenever it may be always arrives in the morning but the only use for A.M. is to be asleep and not wake up. I am not designed to wake up before the sunrise (whenever that is), nor should I be woken by any loud ringing noise or external stimulus. I am a sensitive soul who should be allowed to fall asleep when I am tired and wake up when I’m not.

I’m basically a cat in human form, and would have no issues with being fed and worshiped as a God. Do you hear that Mrs G, I would have no problem at all being worshiped.

For the meantime I live in a world that insists on stopping me sleeping, and waking me up at some stupid time in the morning on a regular basis.

In terms of what I class a stupid time to wake up I have a simple chart:

  • Before dawn – Stupid o’Clock
  • Between dawn and sunrise – Stupid o’Clock
  • Between sunrise and 10am – Stupid o’Clock

Unfortunately the modern world is run by the freaks who seem to be able to get up early, and I know plenty of people who not only get up early but also do so to exercise. I’m assuming anyone who gets up more than 30 minutes before they need to leave the house has a really uncomfortable bed. The moment someone says “I went to the gym before work” all I can think is that they have a really lumpy mattress and would rather be on a rowing machine than have broken springs digging into their back.

My mattress was specially chosen to be as welcoming as possible. So when I go to bed I look forward to being able to lie on it and when I wake I have a real issue leaving it. It embraces me tightly like I’m a small mammal and it’s an anaconda. My bed is a snake, and I’m it’s prey having all the energy crushed from me an left in a lifeless state.

I’ve never been that good at mornings, I’m not at my most social during the early parts of the day. It normally takes me at least an hour to warm up to dealing with people so being forced to spend that informative sixty minutes with the joy that are my fellow commuters puts me in that shiny happy place that I normally enter when I tread on a plug or trap a finger in a door.

It’s in my DNA to be a night owl, the early bird gene is recessive within my family. My inability to deal with ante meridiem has been passed down the matrilineal line, and it’s a trait that both of my sisters have. The only person who seems to be able to deal with any time before 0800 hours is Papa G and, despite over thirty years of marriage and fatherhood, still has not got use to his family having the same reaction to the sunrise as a vampire coven.

I am much more suited to the night time, note not the night life (as I am completely unable to manage a few hours after dark on the town), it’s more interesting than the morning. More stuff happens, like decent television and not having to go to work. In fact this post is taking ages to write as I am watching the seminal piece of cinema National Treasure, so I’m flitting between try to scribe a few hundred words while being amazed at the hairpiece Nicholas Cage is sporting. In the morning I have no such problem because there is nothing else to do.

Anything that is good about the morning is made better in the evening, take the full English breakfast. In the morning it is bacon, sausage, egg and tomato; but later in the day you can add chips (the British kind). Bam…instantly better.

Fry up with sausage bacon egg aand chips
Daddy or Chips?

In fact there is one sure way to make early mornings better, make sure that they all start after lunch.

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Forward Drive.”
What is the one thing that drives you to wake up in the morning and do whatever it is you do? Is it writing, family, friends, or something else entirely? Thanks for the prompt suggestion, Yingiex!

Author: geekergosum

Ah, so you worked out the riddle. You just needed to use dwarfish and the doors to Geek Ergo Sum opened. Or perhaps you just used Google. Either way you are here, on my little corner of the Internet.

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