Turn the world down

In which I would like to turn it to seven.

Spinal tap these go to 11

Can we stop living in a Spinal Tap world and turn it down from eleven, I just wish everything was not so loud. I’m sitting here feeling too warm and with a headache and would like to tone down life for a few hours. There is a lot to be said for living in a less brash world, and what I wouldn’t give to just get out of Oz and get back to Kansas.

Working in an office is a constant assault on the senses, they are not designed as a place to maximise employee well-being but to extract the most from the human network that has been installed. You don’t get juice from a lemon by stroking it gently and asking if it could be made more comfortable, you squeeze it…hard. What I wouldn’t give to have some of my senses squeezed a bit more gently.

Sight

I feel fortunate to be able to see, it’s the sense I like the most and the world is geared towards the visual. With the exception of a astigmatism I consider myself to have pretty good 20/20 sight, but sitting at work the office is geared to trying to blind me. Whether it is the bright yellow walls, or the bright white walls, or the luminous lighting, or the radioactively bright monitors I sit at; I am bathed in a glow so bright it could be emanating from Professor Brian Cox’s cheekbones.

English: Professor Brian cox at Science Foo camp
English: Professor Brian cox at Science Foo camp (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’m not asking for the world to be turned off, just alter the brightness a little. This is easy enough to adjust on my monitor, but then it is like staring into a black hole as the surrounding radiance overwhelms my poor retina. Sitting in front of Excel all day means looking at a white screen, I could do some formatting tricks to make it all white text on a dark background but I would rather go blind then having poorly coloured spreadsheets.

Hearing

Following the theory of fighting fire with fire I cut out the noise of the office by putting in my headphones. Sitting here with a thumping headache I can either listen to the hum of air-conditioning, whir of the printer and the clicking of keyboards or my own music. I am grateful for the ability to plug in and tune out and would not want to be able to hear more than I already do.

As the ambient noise of the world get’s louder it becomes more difficult to hear and we seem to have resorted to shouting to be heard. Some do this to be listened to while some around me speak at a volume that makes Brian Blessed sound like Fluttershy with laryngitis.

Touch

I’ve mentioned air-conditioning but in our office it is an oxymoronic description. The air is still and warm. It is like a summer evening by the bayou but without any jambalaya or beer. To make matters worse we are made to sit in normal business clothes which for men are not entirely conducive for staying cool.

Touch is pretty important, it let’s you know when the cause of a stimulus is likely to cause pain (like fire or a particularly bad pun) so switching it off completely is going to end up with missing fingers (did you know God is the only character on The Simpsons with the full complement of digits?) but the ability to feel a little bit less does seem enticing.

Smell & Taste

Two senses that are inextricably linked (just look at what happens when you have a cold). To turn these off would mean that bacon would lose all it’s flavour. So let’s turn these senses up to eleven!

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ll7rWiY5obI]

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Super Sensitive.”

If you were forced to give up one sense, but gain super-sensitivity in another, which senses would you choose?

Author: geekergosum

Ah, so you worked out the riddle. You just needed to use dwarfish and the doors to Geek Ergo Sum opened. Or perhaps you just used Google. Either way you are here, on my little corner of the Internet.

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