Wedding music for grooms

In which it is the man’s job to find the tunes.

Wedding photo of Mr and Mrs G

When planning the music for mine and the Then Future Mrs G’s wedding we decided that the traditional “Here Comes the Bride” was a bit staid and cliché, so we decided that we should look (or listen) at having our own wedding march. Neither of us are Beethoven or Chopin, so we were going have to choose something already composed.

There are a number of criteria for the processional, and they seem similar to other services styles, so to help other couples going through the same conundrum I thought I would put together a helpful list of the tunes we had on our possible playlist and provide some suggestions for wedding music for grooms.

Epic sounding music.

You don’t want anything to wishy-washy, this is your big day after all (as much as the bride will tell you it’s all about her you do have a moment of veto during the vows to use as a bargaining chip). What you are looking for is something grand to say “Here is me, the Groom, I am Awesome”, so you are realistically looking for something with timpani. Any piece of music with the distinctive “boom-boom” is going to give people the impression that you are a super man, like Samson bringing the temple down around you (this is not advisable as the place you are getting married in might charge you more for any building-based destruction).

It will also recall the scene from Jurassic Park when the water in the glass starts to ripple, you will be a T-Rex in a tux. You don’t want to be a T-Rex though, with those small arms it difficult to exchange rings. This is why dinosaurs never married (and as the Tea Party will tell you no marriage = the end of the world, and that’s how the dinosaurs died out 3,000 years ago). In fact the music from Jurassic Park is epic-enough to fit the bill, it even has a suitable door-opening crescendo, if only I could have got Richard Attenborough to greet guests with “Welcome…to the wedding”.

Something by Beethoven.

He was a genius, music’s Tesla to the Edison of Wolfgang Amadeus. By having anything by Beethoven as the wedding music for grooms it says that they are also super-brilliant and should be treated as a man of class and brilliance. Inevitably this will lead you to going straight for the 4th Movement of the 9th, and that would be a good choice, for the classical environments you could go for a traditional orchestral piece but you also have the option of a more modern sounding piece by using  the version from A Clockwork Orange. This has been banned at my wedding for being “too evil”.

Choral music is great.

Basically it sounds like hundreds of people are singing in unison to celebrate you, and who doesn’t like the feeling of being worshiped by tenors and baritones? Most choral music is frankly dull, and ruins decent classical music (don’t get me started on opera) so having to sift through the dirges of liturgical tracks can be quite tricky. Thankfully the modern age has understood this, so along with the internet and bread-slicing machines we have also invented decent songs for choirs.

These offend the purists out there as the best choral music is now for pop-culture events like sports and computer games, so as some suggestions here is one from each genre. Firstly is one of the best pieces of modern-day music, a tune for millions that will immediately conjure up images of children waving a create big circle with stars on (and will fit in perfectly if your wedding is sponsored by Heineken and Continental Tyres).

If you are looking for a more Nordic-bent, something which says I kill dragons yet manage to avoid taking arrows to the knee then perhaps the title song from Skyrim would be an idea?

Nothing too evil.

Apparently the Future Mrs GeekErgoSum will not allow anything that can be construed as ‘evil’ at the wedding. This means no canes with swords in, dry ice in the font or swoshing with capes. This also puts a kibosh on some marches due to their evil connotations. Even if they have a bossa nova beat.

Whatever you chose I hope this has been of some inspiration, as a man you have a right not to walk down that aisle to something to girly. When you are choosing your music you want to be as manly as Arnold Schwarzenegger riding a Velociraptor shooting Chuck Norris with guns of fire…while eating steak that is still on the cow. So basically anything from sports, games or films will do.

But no Mozart operas.

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “It’s My Party.”

You’re throwing a party — for you! Tell us all about the food, drink, events, and party favours you’ll have for your event of a lifetime. Use any theme you like — it’s *your* party!

Author: geekergosum

Ah, so you worked out the riddle. You just needed to use dwarfish and the doors to Geek Ergo Sum opened. Or perhaps you just used Google. Either way you are here, on my little corner of the Internet.

2 thoughts on “Wedding music for grooms”

  1. This is funny. I like that you added the Jurassic Park one, especially. I think the standard here comes the bride theme song is overused, but I guess it really depends on the wedding theme too! (Like if it will be a super traditional ceremony with traditional invites and stuff, then it would be super appropriate)

    -Romina @ http://www.dietyogaenergy.com

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    1. Mrs G did walk down the aisle to the Jurassic Park theme, we wanted the church to open the doors on the big swell but it got a bit confusing for them (especially as we had just had the bridesmaids walk in to Chariots of Fire). We had the full traditional ceremony (church/hymns) but we tried to add as much of our personality to the service so it was ‘our’ wedding and not just another service.

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