I’m just a jealous guy

In which I write letters to those I wish I was.

Dragonfly with giant green eyes

I don’t get very jealous, I am quite content with what I have. There may be times when I’m a tiny bit envious of someone but I’m lucky to be in a position where I can normally have the things I covet. I’m not saying I’m not jealous of anyone who drives a classic Ferrari, it would be great to have one, but my fiesta does get me from A to B and without the crazy insurance bracket.

There are a few people I wish I could be, although I’m not ready to give up my current life to do so. I also realise that they got where they are and have what they have through their own hard work. So here are my open letters to those lucky few:

The Green-Eyed Letters

Dear Dan Carter,

You look like this:

The person on the right is the New Zealand’s women’s hockey captain and you’re married to her. You play rugby for the greatest team in the world and are one of the best players to ever play the game. You’re a nice guy, humble, talented and good looking.

Man I hate you.

GES

Dear Peter Jackson

How’s New Zealand? Have they given you the country yet? Good job on the Lord of the Rings but couldn’t we have made The Hobbit into two movies?

Did you know I was going to film Tolkien’s works? No, must have slipped your mind I guess in the same way that you were meant to hire me to be Bilbo. What is the point of me being short if all the roles in moviedom are now filled by tall actors and some CG?

Please pass this letter onto Martin for me will you?

Yours shortly

GES

Dear Freddie Prinze, Jr

She was supposed to be one of my ex-Future Mrs Gs.

GES

Dear Anyone in the England Cricket Team,

Look we were doing well and I know that at the moment we are having a bit of a hiccup. I think the problem is Joe Root, I mean it’s great that you are doing more charity work but the law says you can only employ a child for so many hours.

If it would help I could fill in at short notice? I would really, really, really like to play for you. If Mrs G is reading this then skip to the next letter…she gone? Good, seriously let’s do a Rumpelstiltskin deal eh?

Yours hoping that I can guess your name

GES

Dear David Cameron/Barack Obama

Got yourself a good deal eh, in charge of some of the most powerful nations in the world and have nobody to answer to except Angela Merkel or Michelle. How is it being the man who gets to make the rules?

Ha ha, I’m only joking, both of your are as impotent as a man who has microwaved his balls.

GES

Dear Mrs Professor Brian Cox

You know

GES

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Green-Eyed Monster.”

Write an anonymous letter to someone you’re jealous of.

Author: geekergosum

Ah, so you worked out the riddle. You just needed to use dwarfish and the doors to Geek Ergo Sum opened. Or perhaps you just used Google. Either way you are here, on my little corner of the Internet.

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