You have it already

In which I cast envious eyes.

Jealousy green eyed monster

“The seaweed is always greener in somebody else’s lake” – Sebastian the crab

It’s strange that we always want what we haven’t got,

We live in an aspiration fuelled world where the accumulation of possessions and experiences is more important than actually reflecting on what we want.

We are stuck in a real-life version of The Sims, we earn money to buy bigger houses, more expensive beds that offer more “comfort” or a better TV that is more “fun”. The game offers a simple equation for modern living; work more, earn more, buy more and be happy. Yet when I try to play the game this way I inevitably am left with an avatar that is crying in a corner surrounded by it’s own urine with the friends I made just to progress pointing and laughing.

So why do we insist on living the same way outside of the computer?

I like to think I am not a jealous person

I don’t sit here wishing I had another person’s life. If you want more from life it is up to you to go out and fight for it, that’s what I’ve done and if I have not achieved all I set out to it is just as much my fault as some cosmic conspiracy trying to hold me back. There is no doubt that some people’s social situations are not conducive to making a success from life (poverty in childhood is inextricably linked to poverty in adulthood) but by concentrating on what you don’t have tends to mean you fail to see what you do have.

After moving into our new home Me and Mrs G had a heartfelt talk about starting a family and how she was starting to become a little too focused on having a baby. We had just moved into an amazing new place and it felt like it didn’t matter because we were not keeping up with the Joneses and didn’t have a bun in our new oven. As I explained to her at the time if you want something that others have you should get both the good bits you want and the bad. Life is not about choosing the nice and throwing away the naughty, if you want the amazing car that next door has then you also have to pay the car insurance that is bankrupting them and means they can’t go on holiday this year.

I’ve had to live and work with people who were jealous of me and it is not pleasant. I would save all year round to go away to destinations like San Francisco or Egypt, often meaning not going out or spending a lot on myself. So when I would say I had another holiday booked I would be accused of flashing the cash or somehow rubbing their noses in it. In the end I wouldn’t tell them about it, and in fact once came back to find my house mate didn’t even know I had gone away. I couldn’t say anything about the places  had been to because they would look at me as though I was a plane-hopping braggart.

The feeling of being guilty because I had something still hurts today, I am self-deprecating and don’t like to talk up my achievements or things I own. This is why I don’t like being jealous, because the last thing I want from anyone else is the sadness that comes from other’s wanting my life.

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Green-Eyed Lady.”

We all get jealous from time to time — what wakes the green-eyed monster for you?

Author: geekergosum

Ah, so you worked out the riddle. You just needed to use dwarfish and the doors to Geek Ergo Sum opened. Or perhaps you just used Google. Either way you are here, on my little corner of the Internet.

3 thoughts on “You have it already”

  1. Really good answers. I have been guilty of that myself…achieving one thing and then immediately striving for the next instead of enjoying it. lily


    1. Sometimes we forget to take stock of what we’ve achieved. Where I work is guilty of that, we have no time to enjoy our success because we have to be working to the next big milestone.


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