Heroes : Ron Swanson

In which I want all the bacon and all the eggs.

Ron Swanson

For the past few weeks I have been able to watch one of the great philosophers of our time. A man of our times for our times, and who I wish was a personal mentor of mine. Not that Mrs G shares this feeling, for she is worried that I may end up being like the great Ron Swanson.

This has all come about because we have been binge watching “Parks and Recreation” so I’ve been immersed in the goings on of the Pawnee government for the past two weeks. As a result the sayings and teachings of Ron Swanson have become an unofficial mantra for me. The man is like a real-life Teddy Roosevelt.

I had a discussion at work this week with a colleague who is thinking about Buddhism, well Ron Swanson would be a Buddhist if it weren’t for their aversion towards a good steak. In fact I would as well but any faith system that requires any restriction of my intake of animal protein is a no-no. I am a dietary libertarian, it’s fish and chips on a Friday and I am not bothered whether the hoof is cloven or not.

He also teaches that life is simple, that you don’t need to spend you life making friends (three is an ideal amount) and accumulating stuff. This is a great life lesson to follow, you can’t keep lot’s of people happy all the time but you may keep a few a lot of the time. Or as Ron would say:

Thankfully there is a simple and easy way to be as great as the moustached sage, just follow the Pyramid of Greatness. This has good advice like:

  • Buffets: Whenever available. Choose quantity over quality, But beef over everything else
  • Haircuts: 3 acceptable styles: High and Tight, Crew Cut & Buzz Cut.
  • Intensity: Give 100%. 110% is impossible. Only idiots recommend that.
  • The Proteins: Cow, Pig, Chicken, Deer
  • Handshakes: Firm, Dry, Solid. 3 seconds.

Ron Swanson, mentor me.

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Mentor Me.”

Have you ever had a mentor? What was the greatest lesson you learned from him or her?

Author: geekergosum

Ah, so you worked out the riddle. You just needed to use dwarfish and the doors to Geek Ergo Sum opened. Or perhaps you just used Google. Either way you are here, on my little corner of the Internet.

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