This is a surprise, I can’t believe I’ve won this award. I mean the “Most Winningest and all round awesomeous Person”…sorry, what do you mean that isn’t this award? I think you need to go back and check. I don’t care what the piece of paper says, if it said the world was flat would you believe it?
I know you are just doing a job, and yes I accept that Award Nominee notifier is a difficult and undervalued job, but you must be wrong. I should be getting a pretty cool award, I’m remarkable. I managed to beat millions of others to that egg after all; and the actual fact that I am here after 13.6 billion years of universal existence is so fantastically improbable that I deserve that award.
So to start with I’d like to thank the Big Bang, without you I would be nothing. No. not nothing but the thing that is nothing without actually being nothing because before then there wasn’t anything for there to be nothing of. Anyways you were instrumental into getting me where I am today.
Don’t worry immutable laws of physics I haven’t forgotten about you. You have been a consistent presence in my life. You help me keep my feet on the ground when I get too far ahead of myself and help light up my life. Without you around I would never have space nor time to be myself. You also helped give the world Professor Brian Cox so you deserve this more than me. You are Brilliant.
Evolution, unlike physics you are constantly challenging me to change and to be more adaptable. If you hadn’t selected me I would be spending my life monkeying around and would probably be still on a beach somewhere. You have warmed my body when I was cold, allowed me to see clearly and given me a thumbs up to using tools to improve my life. Naturally I couldn’t have done all this without you.
I’d like to thank all of science, you made me and you shaped me. This goes out to you.
In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “I’d Like to Thank My Cats.”