My unobituary

In which I am still very alive.

Polish newspaper front page

The daily suggestions for topics to muse upon have been a little, how should I say, less than positive. Just a few days ago I was asked to consider what I would say if I stopped writing, well today’s them hits the same “make-em-smile” note. Write what you would say if you stopped writing…because you’ve as much vim as a Norwegian Blue parrot.

Instead of writing a notice for my non-existent membership in the choir invisible I’m going to write my unobituary. It’s a bit like having an unbirthday, but instead of hares and a dormouse it’s more of a notice that I am Still Alive.

My unobituary

Geek Ergo Sum, age thirty-four, was found still alive at home on 3rd March 2015. The cause was a severe and prolonged case of not being dead.

Born in 1980 in England, to his parents, he attended numerous schools in his youth and graduated from high school in 1998. From here he attended two universities and one college and is still waiting to start any second year of further education. Currently he has dropped out of Microbiology & Zoology, Media Production and ‘Culture, Communication and Media Studies. It is with sadness that he won’t get a university degree as he is likely to be killed by those close to him should he make a third attempt at getting a degree.

He lived in various types of houses, from semi-detached to one bedroom flats and still resides in a house. Ergo Sum worked at quite a number of companies doing stuff on computers that very few understood or are genuinely interested in, until retiring in the future.

Ergo Sum will be especially remembered for not being dead, and still living when being asked to write an obituary. It being a Tuesday night when he was asked to do so, it felt a little strange because it was Two-for-Tuesday at the local pizza take away and one of the side effects of being rigor flexis is being hungry.

In 2012, he married Mrs G. It was awesome.

Survivors include his family and friends, and most importantly himself (of which he was rather pleased).

Services will be held on Sunday at most churches, this seems a popular day for them to happen because it has some religious significance. Other faiths may hold theirs on a different day, check your local place of worship or Wikipedia for more details.

No flowers.

Donations are welcome, just send money via paypal.

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “In Loving Memory.”

Author: geekergosum

Ah, so you worked out the riddle. You just needed to use dwarfish and the doors to Geek Ergo Sum opened. Or perhaps you just used Google. Either way you are here, on my little corner of the Internet.

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