January 1st already, it doesn’t seem like yesterday since it was 2014, which means I need to begin the process of deciding how I am going to change this year (especially as I have been putting off dieting and exercising until today). I am in the process of writing my goals for 2015, more on that later, but first I have to decide what kind of person I want to be.
For the first time in forever I have no idea what I would like to change, last year was such a gentle and good year because I wasn’t too busy trying to reinvent myself that I realise I don’t need to be anyone different. I could have a new skin but I am feeling extremely comfortable in the one I have.
As a wise crab once said, the seaweed is always greener in someone else’s lake. Events in the last half decade have made me realise how lucky I am to now have the life I do. I am not sure that I would want to be different from the current “me”.
Why would I want to be a member of a different species, someone from a different gender or generation, to do so would mean taking the risk that I would be somewhat better off than I am now. When I consider the mathematics of this it makes no sense to hope to be someone else.
I would consider that living in a economically developed nation, with good healthcare, a job that pays well (both nationally and globally), a home, a family that I love and am pretty healthy. Even without a rigorous analysis I would still say this puts me somewhere comfortably in the top 50% for being in a good place in life.
Nothing says that being in a “New Skin” means you get to choose a better one. When the odds are against you then sometimes you should pay with the hand you’re dealt. The only time to gamble is when you are more likely to win, and I don’t feel like that anymore. Instead I want to focus on the skin I possess.
It may be well worn, and has a few dents and scratches so it is not in mint condition, but the scuffs are mine and make me unique. It has taken me a long time to come to this realisation, I still have moments when I think back to what life would be like if I was still single and living in Birmingham. I know I would certainly have more money.
But I would be poorer.
I don’t want to give up my hard won life, I choo-choose me. I would pick the current “me” to live this year as.