I can’t join in with Movember

In which I don’t need to grab a razor.

Ron Swanson

Gillette and the shaving industry have me on a blacklist. My DNA could bring down the whole shaving industry in one swoop ruining their ‘cheap handles – extortionate blades’ model. I am the Anti-Remington.

It is almost impossible for me to grow facial hair.

I only really shave once a week, and that is just because I need to reduce the length of the hairs coming from any freckles or moles. I cannot remember when I put the latest blade in my razor, but I have a feeling it was when two blades was the pinnacle of face gardening technology. I don’t really need it to be sharp, a vigorous face wash tends to do the trick.

In fact my whole top lip seems to be a no-grow zone, the only attempt at a beard is a darkened line I get under my chin. If I was to attempt Movember I would end up looking like Worf, but with less frown lines.

Mrs G is particularly happy about this as she is not keen on the hirsute look, and only complains when the few hairs that grow get too ‘spikey’. I’m guessing she has exceptionally sensitive skin to feel that the bum fluff on my lip is scratching her.

But it’s that time of year when looking like the cowboy from the Village People comes back into fashion. When stiff upper lips get relief from the cold weather and froth related embarrassment increases.

That’s right it’s Movember, and for anyone not aware, a chance to grow a ‘tache for charity and raise awareness and money for Men’s health. Especially illnesses like prostate and testicular cancer.

Some of the facts about male related cancers are genuinely scary, and it’s great to increase people’s knowledge of the big C when it comes to men. For example:

  • 10,000 men will die of prostate cancer this year in the UK.
  • The occurrences of prostate cancer are comparable to the rates of breast cancer in women.
  • 1 in 9 men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer in the UK
  • You are 2 1/2 times more likely to develop prostate cancer if your father or brother has it.

Last year Movember raised £22 million in the UK and £79.3m across the world. I would love to join in the Movember fun but I have one small problem…I can’t.

In fact my whole top lip seems to be a no-grow zone, the only attempt at a beard is a darkened line I get under my chin. If I was to attempt Movember I would end up looking like Worf, but with less frown lines.

Mrs G is particularly happy about this as she is not keen on the hirsute look, and only complains when the few hairs that grow get too ‘spikey’. I’m guessing she has exceptionally sensitive skin to feel that the bum fluff on my lip is scratching her.

So I’m going to do my bit for Movember, I’m going to put out some useful links for any guy who has read this far, and ladies you can have a go with your significant other as well – you know just like us guys are happy to give you a hand with checking your breasts.

http://uk.movember.com/mens-health/health-checklist

http://uk.movember.com/mens-health/prostate-cancer/

http://uk.movember.com/uploads/files/Mens%20Health/Advice_From_BUPA.pdf

and if you feel like donating to someone who is much better at growing an evil goatee than me:

http://uk.movember.com/donate/

 

Author: Daddysaurus

Ah, so you worked out the riddle. You just needed to use dwarfish and the doors to Geek Ergo Sum opened. Or perhaps you just used Google. Either way you are here, on my little corner of the Internet.

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