Five Items

GES-Lists

Imagining the necessities I would need for survival on a desert island can lead me one of two ways. I could either choose the sensible option of equipment that would prolong my life until I’m either rescued or expire, or take the other path and select the items that are as ill thought out as a Government healthcare website.

So the healthcare.gov route it is.

If I’m going to be stranded on a deserted island in today’s age the likelihood is that I’m never going to be rescued. I’m going to have been travelling by plane or boat and both of them have GPS systems that allow rescuers to track where I disappeared. If I am truly lost then there is going to be little hope for me. I may as well be stuck on an island that is a metaphor for limbo with random numbers, polar bears and that guy who played a hobbit.

1. Some form of electricity generation.

I’m not saying this needs to be a full on nuclear power plant as I know what happens when they go wrong.

Fact: She was exposed to Uranium after filming Mean Girls…it explains a lot

Just some other method of being able to run any electronic devices I may decide to have with me on my island. They may be a spoiler, but pretend to be shocked when I come on to “A Smartphone”.

2. A Smartphone

One that has GPS and Google Maps on, it will help me work out if I am stuck in the middle of the Pacific with no hope of rescue, or just the otherside of a Sandals resort. Nobody wants to be the guy who started drinking his own pee when just a few miles away there was all you can drink margaritas. Plus you can preload some films and games on to pass the time. Imagine how good you could get at Angry Birds with several years to practice.

This is also what the education system is now used for

3. A pair of sandals

Handy for the beach (which could have hot sand) and walking in the jungle (where it could be thorny). I know that given time the skin on my feet will get hard and provide some protection like nature intended, but rather than getting septicaemia while I wait for the callouses I’ll just settle for some sensible footwear.

Socks would be an extra item, thankfully I have some fashion sense

4. Twenty tons of McDonalds

I’m going to die, so I might as well choose my own death and I pick you heart disease. It is not the most nutritionally balanced option but given the fact I may not be able to hunt for my own food (because I’m not a natural hunter so will starve before I become proficient) I’ll take the one food stuff that never rots. Seriously, it doesn’t go off thanks to all the preservatives. After the end of days all that will survive are cockroaches, Lego and Big Macs.

It never rots

5. Suncream

Because protection against the sun is still important.

 

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18 Comments

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Doesn't that white box below look lonely, cheer it up by writing something in it. It won't bite, I fed it earlier.

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