I’m not quite dead yet

It’s been a while hasn’t it?

By my last reckoning it has been 54 days since I last posted, which is the longest interregnum this site has ever seen. There are a number for reasons for this, but the main one is that I have just ran out of steam.

After a good solid year of writing I have just hit a point where I have lost all motivation for it. Some of this is down to the arrival of Baby G (who is doing amazing – if has just recently forgot how to sleep) but also with moving jobs.

A lot of my writing comes from frustration, after all I did start this whole experience many years ago as a form of therapy. That pent-up feeling is not there anymore and so a powerful fuel for my ranting has petered out like leaving the smoldering embers of website slowly dying in the internet twilight.

The time that I had to type a few hundred words is also limited, before I had an hour a day on the trains but now I am in the car where the option is listen on the radio to the latest popular hits of some tween with silly hair or the slightly right-wing rants of talk radio. I could do this on my lunch hour, but I am too busy at work, or when I get home.

Would you rather write about some random topic that thirty or forty people might read, or spend the time with your baby? So when I get home I don’t sit down until she is in bed. By this time I have even less energy in my brain so me and Mrs G turn on the trash TV channels and vegetate.

So this is my post for March…I’m not sure yet whether it is a farewell post or just a I need to make a decision about writing post. I’m not looking for the “OMG you should stay” kind of response, but as long time readers may know (or remember) I have these moments every so often and use this as a forum to get it all out.

I’ve been afforded the chance to write this thanks to my tiredness and getting into work so early that the canteen isn’t yet open so I can get some tea…but it is now.

Hope all my readers are well, the Family G are. Nothing is wrong in my life that has caused my posting tardiness and I have not fallen off the face of the earth. Life is good, I’m happy.

Which means that Geek Ergo Sum is a quiet place.

As I sit here now

GES-Rant

I’m so tired, I am flagging and waiting for home time. I know that I’m not allowed to feel tired because I chose to have a child and that therefore robs me of the right to complain about any malady that is infant-inflicted.

IMG_20140129_131314

The bottle of Coke is emptying quickly and I have got rid of all but one of the finished cups of tea on my desk. The last drops of caffeine course through my veins egging on my lethargic limbs to keep going. My fingers are conserving energy by shutting down the muscles so my digits are not as much typing as falling upon the keyboard.

I’m tired. Continue reading

Learning from each other

GES-Relationships

Last night I had a discussion with Mrs G about the impact each of us had had on the others lives. It wasn’t one of those in depth conversations as she was on the laptop and I was shooting things on the Xbox. In fact at one point my syntax structure was as punctuated as the shots coming from my gun.

The basic gist was that we complimented each other fairly well, even though we have similar tastes and interests we are still very different people in terms of our temperament. She is a humanities person where I’m the scientist, she is the loud-mouthed American and I’m the repressed Brit. Continue reading

Lunchtime Review : Sausage and Mash

GES-Lunchtime-Review

There are many ways to judge how good a company is to work for. How much are they paying you or what are the feelings of the current or ex staff, maybe even are they one of the the various best places to work for (although these polls now feel like a Buzzfeed article).

My way of deciding a corporations worth is the food that you can get from the canteen. So, although I’m only two days into a new job, I’m pretty happy with where I am now working . I already got given a free bacon sandwich this morning (a previous employer only gave free fruit) and already can see something I would eat everyday from the menu.

IMG_20140128_121946I may be putting on a few pounds. Continue reading

Another Moment of Kindness

GES-Autobiography

Some clarification

I think to dispel the myth that I’m an anti-social grump who hates the public I should add that I am capable of my own acts of kindness. I’m a bit like Scrooge or The Grinch, with the exception that I can be kind all year round and I don’t need to be scared into being nice.

I very much believe that kindness is not hard wired into humans because of some religious text or threat of eternal damnation, but is actually an intrinsic part of our nature. Helping others helps us and being kind is actually an evolution benefit. I came to this realisation thanks to a man from the Salvation Army.
Continue reading

I got skills

I am, was, a master of the green, red, yellow, blue and orange. I could play almost any song on expert as my fingers flicked across the clinking buttons of my ersatz Gibson Duo Jet. I used to be able to rock out like all the great fake guitarists; I was the British Kill3rzQu33nz or xxx2tasteexxx.

Then I realised that despite my ability nobody really cared, in fact I would get more derision than admiration from my fingering ability. Plus it took up too much time, cost far too much and other interests came along to distract me.

This left me without a skill I excelled at. I was a normal again. If only the Matrix was real and I could have new abilities uploaded at will. What would I choose?

Continue reading

Mirror, Mirror

1st Law of Princesses - logic = 1/emotion^e
1st Law of Princesses - logic = 1/emotion^e

I’ve finally deleted some of my old blogs, one of which was the Angry Fairytales blog. This was my first attempt at writing and was borne from a frustration with Princesses (those girl who would string you along before riding off with the handsome prince). One of those posts was a rant about Snow White and I think it is quite interesting to see if this is still the person I saw in the mirror back in those olden days:

Mirror, Mirror.
Snow White
Poor, innocent Snow White. The fairest (source: magic mirror) of all princesses yet cruelly hounded until saved by her prince. How could I have issues with her? Quite easily it seems, because the fairy tale shows ‘princesses’ are naive and stupid, jealous and cruel.

Before the main event it’s probably best to tackle the villain of the piece “The Wicked Queen”. The Wicked Queen is a representation of the princess’ greatest fears, that there is someone in some physical way better than you (aka fairness). A constant need of reassurance not from another person, but from a mirror. Continue reading

Ballerina Fireman Astronaut Movie Star – Data Analyst?

GES-Work

When I was little(r) I played the “when I grow up” game. I knew what I wanted to be, it was going to be fun and exciting and ever so adventurous. I would change the world! I did not sit and think “You know what, I want to be a data analyst”. It just happened that what I have is an aptitude for crunching numbers and making spreadsheets. I was never going to be a NBA basketballer so I choose the world of Excel and datasets.

I was going to be doing any number of different occupations, I had the whole world in front of me and nothing to stop me. So what happened? Continue reading

Predictions

One of my plans this year is to travel more, or at least the same amount as last year. In 2013 I managed to go to New York and Greece and I’m happy to say that I am being incredibly consistent by replicating the same vacations this year.

In fact even before the end of January I am all booked up for the year and only now need to worry about paying for it and getting the time off work. At least I have the tickets, well I have the emails that now represent the tickets. It is nice to think that I will be spending Easter in the States and July roasting on a Corfunian beach.

Continue reading

Breaking the law

Geek Ergo Sum Valjean Prison

Despite my angelic looks I am really a bad boy…I’ve had my share of run ins with the law.

I’m hardcore criminal scum.

I’m bloody gangster mate. 2460hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh1.

Geek Ergo Sum Valjean Prison

Like all members of the underworld fraternity I think I should share my stories of villainy. What you are about to read could shatter your faith in the inherent goodness of humanity. Continue reading